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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Jacket He Wore (pt. 1)dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Flowerinbloom
    ASL Info:    22/M/Earth (I think)
    Elite Ratio:    3.5 - 700/559/123
    Words: 566
    Class/Type: Story/Misc
    Total Views: 831
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 2967



    Description:
       Just playing around with this story/novella and just wanted to see what you think so far.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Jacket He Wore (pt. 1)dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Thunder crashed around her as she drowsily opened her eyes. God knocked again, this time she jumped up gathering her senses immediately. She looked beside her but it was empty, his side of the bed was cold like he was never there. She got up and made her way to the bathroom but was disappointed to meet an empty space. She panicked now and made a half strut-half walk down the stairs. She walked into the living room her eyes staring hopelessly around the room trying to find him but seeing no one but the image of a desperate woman looking for her lover in the mirror. Coming slowly to tears her nose picked up a scent that in her desperation had eluded her. She followed the scent; a mixture of bacon, eggs and coffee to the kitchen with each step faster than the one before.

    He sat there with the day’s paper in his hand reading while waiting for the toaster to announce its completion. He looked up when he heard her footsteps racing against the floor. There she was standing in the doorway. She stood before him in just her panties, unkempt from the night’s activities, her bare breasts open to the morning chill and heaving from her frantic gallop and her attempts to catch her breath. He saw the panic on her face, a panic he knew all too well, she smiled in an endeavour to hide her extreme anxiety. He frowned, she felt embarrassed. She brought her hands to her face covering her breasts as she did so and wept silently.

    His hands were around her shortly after the first tear drop. He pulled her close to him and shielded her from her insecurities. She felt his arms around her, holding her, she bloomed in his arms. Her practically naked body trembled from the winter chill. He took of his coat and wrapped her in it, kissing her on her forehead as he did so. She looked up into his eyes and found warmth, her body had stopped trembling but a new chill ran down her spine like a single trickle of ice cold water.

    “How’s that, feel any better?” he asked bending slightly so their eyes were on level. He peered deep into her eyes trying to pair with the core of her being but not quite connecting. “It’s fine, I feel much better now.” She answered turning away from his gaze. He was too much for her and sometimes too little. She wasn’t ready, not yet.

    “I didn’t see you, when I woke up I mean” she picked a stray strand of hair from his chest. She was shedding much more than usual stress maybe, she hadn’t had a good night’s sleep in so long. “It scared me for a bit, I thought…”

    “You thought wrong, you should know me better than that.” he cut her off before she could finish. She blushed again; embarrassment seemed to be her friend today. He brought his hand to her chin and gently lifted her head so her lips could meet his. He kissed her in love, he kissed her in security and he kissed her in desperation. What could he do to heal her?.....




    Submitted on 2008-03-17 22:07:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This is excellent! You have given the much needed details that nuture the senses in this giving sounds, smells, moods, sights, activity; these are things that are often too brusquely treated in many short stories.

    Your work provided enjoyable reading, and leaves the reader wanting to see the next chapter. Nice work!
    | Posted on 2008-04-15 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow. i like this- so comprehensive(the details of event and passion(altho the passion part was rather limited to me.haha). waiting for part 2 ^.^
    | Posted on 2008-03-18 00:00:00 | by rosesrouges | [ Reply to This ]


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