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    dots Submission Name: Please Open Your Eyes.dots

    Author: Jakirina
    ASL Info:    19/F/WI
    Elite Ratio:    3.69 - 216/200/80
    Words: 330
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 653
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2208

       This poem was also for an assignment and it is a complete revision and rewrite of my previous poem "Your Face", the central idea has stayed the same but, in "Your Face" I was trying to steer away from my usual dark self and do something more calming and beautiful. According to my professor I failed for trying to hard. So in the rewrite I said screw it, and went back into my darker side. This is what came out.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPlease Open Your Eyes.dots

    In a memory whilst I slept
    upon grey, peach-stained feathers
    plucked from the breasts of your cherished
    tazen-eyed owls. I wove your form.

    Ladies with red spindles:
    cutting needles protruding
    from each handless arm,
    help me roll thread between my fingers
    from their cumulus of silk.

    They formed your bare shoulders
    stitching the meat of dark cherries into your skin,
    while I carve your face
    and the well of your throat.

    My thumbs press, indents
    for your delicate eyes,
    I sew in two dark Tahitian pearls
    taken from the heavy side of your adored wedding gift,
    the part that hung low and had touched your chest:
    I open up my own. Twining bits of my lungs
    into the body of your nose.

    The Ladies place a thin thorned vine against my palm,
    an end fixed with hair spun from lost husbandsí.
    I dip it into my heartís last smile,
    form your lips as they were to my eye,

    I gaze,
    Yet it isnít you.

    Harshly the Ladies cut away the pearls
    with rusted screeching shears,
    flinging your eyes into my dripping chest.
    They form your lashes from nettles:
    barbwire that will not open.

    you seem to breath.

    Each night
    I dream the same.
    Each night
    a part of you disappears.

    I thread your locks upon your scalp
    formed from rabbit fur
    and stain it with pomegranate seeds.

    Under the Ladies smirking eyes
    I run my arms through your hair
    tangling my wrists, twisting and tightening
    until my blood coats each strand.

    I press my forehead to yours.
    Begging the Ladies to stitch my skin
    to their cursed cloud of webbing.
    Suffocate me. Impale me
    with their handless arms.
    Meld my flesh to yours.

    Their red spindles turn.
    Their needles click.
    No matter the anguish,
    in dream I cannot die.

    Please open your eyes.

    Submitted on 2008-03-18 14:05:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      You have such beautiful poetic diciton and such marvelous poetical phrasing, but you poem is--as I'm certain you know and intended--demonically and insanely dark, too much so for me. but you do have that poetry "knack" which near impossible to teach.....
    | Posted on 2008-04-18 00:00:00 | by Algol46 | [ Reply to This ]
      You're an amazing poet.. I wish I had your talent and all.. I wish mine ended up this long.. Very nice I must say one of my favs.
    | Posted on 2008-03-18 00:00:00 | by Fallyn Angel | [ Reply to This ]

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