Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Life I livedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: b_v_grant
    ASL Info:    23/M/Jamaica
    Elite Ratio:    3.27 - 125/118/69
    Words: 331
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Love
    Total Views: 539
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2113



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLife I livedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Verse 1

    My crashing pride came down on my face,
    Cuz I cant believe you hurt me this way.
    The worst part is that you didn't really thought so,
    But I've got a million scars on me to show.
    I bet you cant find one,
    That you dont know.

    Chorus

    This is the life I live,
    The life I thought was love,
    It's been my mistake,
    To think you were sent from above.
    You will never change,
    I wont give another chance.
    You can keep your I love yous,
    Thats no longer true

    Verse 2

    You tried so hard to make things right,
    But what happen on all those nights...,
    You left me broken up with no hope in me,
    But like it or not its the way its ought a be,
    You gotta find yourself before you can ever find me.

    Chorus

    This is the life I live,
    The life I thought was love,
    It's been my mistake,
    To think you were sent from above.
    You will never change,
    You will always be the same,
    So keep your I love yous... I know were...never true

    Bridge

    Remember those days I told you the way that I felt,
    That I'd be lost without you,
    I'm never going away....
    I guess holding onto memories has never done me any good.

    So over,
    We're so over....

    Chorus

    This is the life I live,
    The life I thought was love,
    It's been my mistake,
    To think you were sent from above.
    You will never change,
    I wont give another chance.
    You can keep your I love yous,
    Thats no longer true....
    This is the life I live,
    The life I thought was love,
    It's been my mistake,
    To think you were sent from above.
    You will never change,
    You will always be the same,
    So keep your I love yous
    Thats no longer true











    Submitted on 2008-03-18 14:54:59     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Honestly, i didn't care for this piece. Not because it wasn't well written, because for the most part, the timing structures and rhymes flowed well. But alot of the material used seemed cliché, and didn't have much explanation behind them. It made me think of a sappy radio ballad.
    | Posted on 2008-04-05 00:00:00 | by hybridsongwrite | [ Reply to This ]
      Excellent verse and song! Many years ago, I belonged to a small band and sang and played Guitar! I lived in Nashville, Tenn. for awhile, and it seemed like every young man there was an aspiring song writer. You have talent, Brian! This one is very good!
    | Posted on 2008-03-21 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]
      wow. very nicely penned(or typed? lol). anyway, the words and phrases you used really have an effect on the emotion(particularly the reader, i me right now.lol). anyway, i read some other of your lyrics. they're really very mature and heartfelt.
    | Posted on 2008-03-18 00:00:00 | by rosesrouges | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    159164

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    The World written by jjd
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry