Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: "I" Souldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Joachim
    ASL Info:    75 Male RSA
    Elite Ratio:    5.39 - 361/264/178
    Words: 142
    Class/Type: Deep Thought/Longing
    Total Views: 670
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 981



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots"I" Souldots
    -------------------------------------------


    "I" Soul.

    My Soul was Lost,
    When my Body became Matter
    My Essence Shrouded in Sweet Darkness.

    Covered in the Mists of Ages
    My Essence a Glimmer
    Like a far off Star Warped in Blankness.
    I formed Endless Space.

    My Soul Thoughts Frozen,
    In a Capsule of Captured Time.
    Like Endless Eternity Forever Stretching seeking.
    I am Soul a Prisoner Bonded to my Ethereal Dream.
    Fantasy Surreal Apathy!

    Awaiting the Hand of Embodiment
    To Gently Shatter My Surreal Dungeon Walls.
    Vanish fantasy surreal apathy!
    I Soul then Become The Splendor of my Essence.
    With Eternity Gently Covering my Space.
    I Soul vibrate to the Frequency of my True Essence,
    An angel Splendid in my Arraignment.
    Covered with the Stars of Ultimate Space,
    Shining like the Sun - I Soul,
    Will become Free!




    Submitted on 2008-03-20 03:59:40     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This is such a gorgeous piece... I love the line "With Eternity Gently Covering my Space"... it's so serene and profound at the same time. The many words capitalized randomly was getting me a bit confused at one stage since I immediately tend to put emphasis on that specific word but I guess that gives even more meaning to the words.

    I love every line! Well written and brilliantly composed.
    | Posted on 2008-03-27 00:00:00 | by Beulah | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    159228

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    One Day written by WriteSomething
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    Linger written by saartha
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Bond written by saartha
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    4th of July written by layDsayD

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry