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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Presentlydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Epiphany
    ASL Info:    42/F/Universe
    Elite Ratio:    4.38 - 3342/2139/390
    Words: 44
    Class/Type: Poetry/Happy
    Total Views: 746
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 354



    Description:
       "Who ever lov'd that lov'd not at first sight?"

    Shakespeare, As You Like It



    Love, Peace, Joy, Grace, Faith!!! ; > }


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPresentlydots
    -------------------------------------------


    To sit at peace
    amidst the noise;
    In awe of all
    the gifted Joys.
    Butterfly glides
    on painted wing,
    Colorful birds
    of nature sing.
    People driving
    to and fro;
    Coming, going
    do they know?
    Summer wind
    caress my brow...
    Life's precious
    here and Now!




    Submitted on 2004-06-30 11:50:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Superb flow and rhyme. You've managed to capture an older, a better, style. The simplicity alone makes it a unique piece--keep up the good work and don't change your style!

    ~James "Alexian" Neal
    | Posted on 2004-06-30 00:00:00 | by alexianx | [ Reply to This ]
      I may be wrong but I think the cadence in the last lines could use another beat, and I would make it

    Life is precious
    here and now.

    Another sweet one both to the ear and heart.
    Dave
    | Posted on 2004-06-30 00:00:00 | by Sandburg | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this. You have used some very positive colourful words. Differnt structure that makes it unique. Nice write keep it up.
    | Posted on 2004-06-30 00:00:00 | by Broken | [ Reply to This ]
      another positive piece...nice imagery...make me feel it...short and sweet and oh so lovely...another epiphony...nicely done...
    | Posted on 2004-06-30 00:00:00 | by Kristina9178 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    15923

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

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