[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: untitleddots

    Author: Aethyx
    ASL Info:    14/f/sc
    Elite Ratio:    4.04 - 25/23/15
    Words: 73
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 760
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 429


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    I'm so helpless
    There's not much I can do
    I want to blow my brains out
    I want to be with you

    Why did I have to move?
    I could have prevented it all
    But now I'm 400 miles away
    And not just down the hall

    Sometimes late at night
    I go outside to have a smoke
    I stare up at the starless sky
    With tear stained eyes I cry

    Submitted on 2008-03-20 12:04:39     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      In the first and second verse the 2nd and 4th lines ryhmed, but in the last verse the last two lines did...it kinda seemed weird.

    Anyways, it was something I think alot of people can relate to from some part of their life.
    | Posted on 2008-03-30 00:00:00 | by entropy | [ Reply to This ]
      kinda messed up the flow o n the last part. it's quite succint, clear-- it seems to stick with your common theme. and hey... you r name is imilar to mine.... cool. Aren't AE's so good? What's your names meaning for you?
    | Posted on 2008-03-20 00:00:00 | by AeThe Lost Poet | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    Happy Saint Patrick's Day written by poetotoe
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Bond written by saartha
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Fasade written by jackz
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Push written by JanePlane
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]