[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: That Angeldots

    Author: Aethyx
    ASL Info:    14/f/sc
    Elite Ratio:    4.04 - 25/23/15
    Words: 145
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 828
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1030

       I'm not really sure about this poem. Interesting is the only thing I could say about this poem.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThat Angeldots

    Like an angel with those broken wings
    So beautiful and yet so sad

    That angel longs to fly
    But is constantly being held back

    That angel longs to die
    But the razors have been snatched

    That angel longs to cry
    But those tears have long since been dry

    That angel wants to heal
    But you've ripped those wounds open again

    That angel is a little girl
    And also that old man
    That angel is everyone
    Who has ever had that plan

    That plan to fly
    ---------It failed

    That plan to die
    ---------It failed

    That plan to cry
    ---------It failed

    That plan to heal
    ---------It failed

    What does that angel have

    And yet that angel
    Pushes along
    Humming softly

    That angel still wants to die
    But keeps fighting on

    Submitted on 2008-03-20 12:20:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think this is about how everybody wants to help someone at some point in their life, but can't. Despite this they struggle on in life?

    Anyways, I think the only thing I would change is that the 5th verse says want instead of long, like all the ones before that, and that kinda messed up the flow.
    | Posted on 2008-03-30 00:00:00 | by entropy | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Wavelength written by saartha
    Before, Now, & After written by SincerWritinAsh
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Summer written by layDsayD
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    True Death written by layDsayD
    Estranged / Shocks written by Daniel Barlow
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Linger written by saartha
    Happy Saint Patrick's Day written by poetotoe
    Every..... written by jackz
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    What happens written by Wolfwatching




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]