Description: Yeah, probably won't make much sense to anyone but myself. I went to an amazing, yes, life-changing concert. I met a wonderful band. Not the band I went to see, but it was their first tour as that band in America. I camped out and went through hell...blah blah blah, have some imagination.
A swell
A flood
a tidal wave
Rushed over me that night
Even though I could've died
Cowering
with cold shivers
Under Royal blankets.
I cried
In the 15 degree
howling
scowling
City darkness;
It's knife to my throat
But when
Oh when
The music poured
Through amps
Pierced the flesh
Picked me up
Nothing beyond the sound and dreamstate-players
mattered
And when
yes when
Mind
Body
Soul
And desperation
Arrived in perfect harmony
The world drowned in pure ecstasy
A strike to the drum
the thunderstorm of the century
Caress the strings
asphalt, fall to pieces
A hand around a microphone
voice dripping with heaven's nectar
I was there
When Hell froze over..
But you
Weren't
When the world changed.
I love the set out here, nicely spaced, giving almost an echo to the reading.
I could almost feel the music through the first part of this work but then it fell flat with
"
A strike to the drum
the thunderstorm of the century
Caress the strings
asphalt, fall to pieces
A hand around a microphone
voice dripping with heaven's nectar"
It seems like you filled the page with feelings and the stopped to point out some facts.
If you had only carried on with the styling, or even the descriptiveness of the rest this would have been an adrenaline rush of a poem
Submission Name: Audiowash
