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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Catastrophic Friendshipdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: laffeytaffey
    ASL Info:    21/F/IL
    Elite Ratio:    1.77 - 21/15/7
    Words: 49
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 655
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 323



    Description:
       I wrote this poem after a good friend of mine "dumped" me because I didn't feel like hanging out with her boyfriend also. After crying for about 3 hours straight, this very short poem is what flowed out of me and onto my notepad. Enjoy.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCatastrophic Friendshipdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I try to close my heart
    Can't stand to feel the pain
    It's like being jabbed by darts
    Going after what I cannot obtain

    Can't stop thinking about you
    Knew that I wasn't to blame
    My feelings will always stay true
    Even if you don't feel the same




    Submitted on 2008-03-21 22:15:05     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Though short this is an escellent very emotional write
    I know you feel better after opening up your Heart and putting it unto paper
    I urge you to not give up on this friendship
    One can easilly tell from your words this Friend is a very important person in your life
    Trust me I know how hard it is to find a True Best Friend
    If I were you I wouild show your Friend this write and let them know how important they are to your well being
    Excellent Job!!!
    God Bless
    Ron

    Please if you get a chance Please take a look at some of my writes and let me know what you think
    Thank You
    Ron
    | Posted on 2008-05-31 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      A short emotional piece, I like it rather well I suppose. It falls into the realm of mediocrity, but then, so does much of what *I* write (like all of it). It's a simple criticism not an insult. I merely mean to say I think you've got the ability to do something more... you.

    This was written in pain and I understand that, trust me. And for that it has a certain beauty only genuine agony offers. However, if you take this same piece and pull forth your love, hate, and other emotions into it... if you analyze *EXACTLY* how you feel and put it into poetic form, you will find yourself carving a masterful piece of work.

    Often, our writing is an expression of our souls, and there is alot more to any given aspect of any given situation, spirit, or whatever than the initial pain. It all falls into place when you sit for a moment and realize the story within the story (this is what I see)

    Holy crap this is long. I hope I didn't offend, it was not my intention. I sorta ramble. Was a bit rude, but that's cause I see a bit of myself in this poem.
    | Posted on 2008-03-23 00:00:00 | by Flynn | [ Reply to This ]
      Awww. It's too bad that TA was like that. I feel the emotion missy. Short and simple.

    Meghan
    | Posted on 2008-03-21 00:00:00 | by Draumrkopa | [ Reply to This ]


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