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Going to send her something when there was no more light I set it up so right everyone would probably fight a whole lot of time running around inside ready for a surprise can't help but hide but the devil he's a child begging for what he lacks and my funds make him lively sending me on the attack but there's no way to tell the devil anything so he got away now I got no way so numbing pain shot through me turned me away until she caught me with words and made me lose it so sleep is the only way to soothe it where blankness persists razor sharp blanket cords exist tangled up on my bed corners gave me sunlight and kicked out my bad night but the sunlight was discouraging and the new day seemed like the last day no time to think about that panic's got no time for the thing that I was supposed to be doing eventually I remembered and the panic formed the rest of my morning caught me off guard and sent me into the trap that was waiting I was a caricature of teeth feeding on a small closing building smelling her parcel holding my breath but they kept me out and took all I had left eyes peering toward me sad but happy to ignore me in the adjusted lot I walked half way then stopped and eventually I had to sit my shame left no footprints I had nothing left nothing to muffle the sound nothing else to think about or to beat my fists on my head case was correctly wired screwed tight and forced to listen to the noise tuning into the distortion feeling the heartbeats everyone was giving tuning into me listening to disaster emotion leaked in before I could make room for it two eyes fused into one solid green catastrophe they made me lay her back down against the rust the most unsightly spot on this whole uninhabited ground not good enough for anyone else regardless of my protest in my rage I spilt it all onto everyone's clean air chaotic tears and penetrating screams all of it into the sea where all these thieves walked like Jesus I changed the waves to neatly tied human carvings hanging and spilling from the rafters above my noisy car ceiling I rode the gauntlet from beginning breath to worthless death heading straight towards the line of Easter weekend gatherers but I was too awake to forget that she was the reason I lost it she is someone that I can never make it up to someone I would die for just to give something too If I had nothing to she always seems too far from the truth to be real but she is real and she always speaks the truth when I tried to give her a gift and when I tried to receive her gift I failed twice to see that the gift that was being given was already inside and the smiles were already showing and the light was everlasting |
Yes Jazzy, just blonde, and 14, and maybe a little bit dense. Maybe read it from someone elses point of view instead of your own. believe it or not, not all poems have to rhyme, if they do in some spots, then neat. this does rhyme in some spots, but it has rhythm throughout the entire thing, which is more important than childish rhyme. Michael this is absolutely brilliant and dont listen to other people who just say they dont like it because they dont understand and because everything is distracting(sign of ADHD). I love you and I love this. Long, but beautiful and we already knew it was a topic most people wouldn't necessarily get. I love you baby. XOxoXO, me | Posted on 2008-03-29 00:00:00 | by angelfyre | [ Reply to This ] | To be perfectly honest, I really don't like it at all. In the beginning, you rhyme in a very distracting way. Later on, that tapers off, which is also very distracting. | It may just be me, but I have no idea what this is supposed to be about. It seems like the beginning was just random stuff that rhymed, and then it came more into something about some girl. The entire thing is extremely difficult to understand. I have no idea even after reading it several times what it is supposed to be about. Maybe I'm just blonde though, I don't know. Anyways, thats just me. ~Jazzy | Posted on 2008-03-22 00:00:00 | by Jazzy | [ Reply to This ] | |