I'm right here by Jamii Nesbitt -------------------------------------------
Well I fell apart
Am I really lost?
Can you hear my heart?
Can I have your trust?
Though I'm not alone
'cause I have my tears
and they are my own
puring out from fear
the fear of being...
fear of being alone
But you're out there too.
Do you feel it too
Youre so far away
from my heart that aches
I want you near
I'm right here
I'm right here
waiting here fior you
I know you there
Do you know it too?
I'm right here
staying here for you
I know you hear
Can you hear me too?
Well I fell apart
Am I really lost?
Can you hear my heart?
Can I have your trust?
Though I'm not alone
'cause I have my tears
and they are my own
puring out from fear
It seems to me as though you are really trying here, and I can admire and appreciate that. You are off to a great start but maybe you should consider a different style of writing? This particular style makes it sound so simplistic and the poem seems almost forced. I am so sorry to say it, I really dont mean or want to offend you, but I feel as though you need to work on your writing a bit. . There are a couple of typos, as well.
Just try not to try and find the poem. If it is in you, the poem will come to you.
Submission Name: I'm right here by Jamii Nesbitt
