down to die -------------------------------------------
i stare at my wrists
the blood flowing over my fist
i cut myself deep to forget my pain
to forget my regrets and start again
the knife cuts deep
its almost time to sleep
i cant feel it anymore
my mind and heart are numb
its like a bullet from a gun
i'll never see the rising sun
cause theres no coming back from this one
i fall to my knees
the blood all around me
i lay myself down to die
as i close my eyes one last time
one lonely tear escapes from my closed eyes
this whole poem seemed to me to be really basic with the AABBCC rhyme scheme. your using free verse which needs powerful flow to be any good which i dont feel this has. the emo topic really didnt do it for me either. the last line of this poem was very very good. write more lines like the last one. another part of this i liked was the fearing the sunrise part.
Submission Name: down to die
