Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
    • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
    • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: break///devoureddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Ceyx
    Elite Ratio:    5.69 - 111/107/81
    Words: 131
    Class/Type: Poetry/I am dead inside
    Total Views: 832
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2112



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsbreak///devoureddots
    -------------------------------------------







    I feel this inside of me///
          it rattles
                I'm broken.
          I beg-
                on bended knee
    I ask you take all that's inside of me...

    It's poison///
          you'll choke
                It seems I have misspoke-
          I try.
                Did he?
    I give you all that lies within...

    The seed of the fruit that has tempted so many
          The core of the syn that has tempted aplenty
    The juices that make the most full's mouth water
          The father, the son, holy-spirit, and slaughter

    What lies in the center; the void///
          It's absent
                I'm hollow.
                      Touch-
                            you'll scatter to the wind
    And I will most assuredly follow...





    ________________________________________________________




    Submitted on 2008-03-24 20:35:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      the rattle of seeds in your hollow shell, mmm i love how you use the spaces as well as the words. baby doll i love it

    huggs and and ...drugs
    | Posted on 2008-03-26 00:00:00 | by in shadow | [ Reply to This ]
      I really love your poems. They really speak out to me and i understand them. Some poems i read they seem like the writer had to force the words to come out, but your poems seem to just flow so natuarlly. And the creativity you put into every line and how it's set up really makes the reader interact with the poem, this i have to say is one of my favorite written by you so far.

    Great Job Ceyx ^_^

    Cry
    | Posted on 2008-03-25 00:00:00 | by WhY-dO-yOu-CrY | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?    		7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    159404

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Genesis written by saartha
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    Convergence written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Tides of Man written by HisNameIsNoMore
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    Stretto written by saartha
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Aftermath and Waltz written by HisNameIsNoMore
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Incubus written by monad
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Can't let my demons go written by faideddarkness
    Lunch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Dirge of Nostalgia written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    This written by Chelebel
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Born of the Mouth written by MyPeriodical
    Skulls Beyond the Palisade written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Limbo written by HisNameIsNoMore
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    When Crows Tick on Windows written by metallichick786
    All Time Low written by Janesaddiction

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry