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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Daddy Came Home Drunkdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Aethyx
    ASL Info:    14/f/sc
    Elite Ratio:    4.04 - 25/23/15
    Words: 183
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 637
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1199



    Description:
       


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    dotsDaddy Came Home Drunkdots
    -------------------------------------------


    My daddy came home drunk again
    Slapped me in the face
    Sent home my friends
    Why don't you love me?

    I go to my room
    Lay down my head
    Cry out my eyes
    Wish I was dead

    Grab my steel
    Hold it near
    Slice my wrists
    So I can feel

    It's not enough
    My head is rushing
    I cut too deep
    The blood is gushing

    My dad walks in
    To find the mess
    But knowing him
    He could care less

    Even though I'm dead
    I see it all
    The look on his face
    The 911 call

    The cops arrive
    "She's dead, for sure."
    I scream and cry out
    They ignore

    The next thing I know
    I'm zipped in a bag
    Rolled in a drawer
    And my toe's got a tag

    There I wait for a few days
    The stench is unbearable
    As my body decays
    I'm so alone...

    Finally someone comes
    To throw me in the coffin
    Soon be long forgotten
    Kick the dirt over my lid

    Let me have some peace...




    Submitted on 2008-03-25 11:08:36     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      the feel is ddefinitly there, good slice of write, not very flow freindly, but it is good, you really have family troubles too, i've got plenty. its sad ain't it?
    | Posted on 2008-04-03 00:00:00 | by AeThe Lost Poet | [ Reply to This ]
      this is one of the sadest things i've read on es. i've read your other works but this one just did me in. the content left scars in my mind and on my heart, i can't really be critical as i don't see many flaws in what/how you wrote this, but i was especially fond of these parts...
    "I go to my room
    Lay down my head
    Cry out my eyes
    Wish I was dead"

    "I'm so alone..."

    i know this feeling all too well...as i'm sure many do...you're not alone in how you feel...

    oh well, you take care :)



    | Posted on 2008-03-25 00:00:00 | by scissorhands | [ Reply to This ]


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