Butterflies by Razor2TheRosary

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Submission Name: Butterflies dots

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Author:	Razor2TheRosary
ASL Info:	20 - f - Philly
Elite Ratio:	8 - 231/109/46
Words:	117

Class/Type:	Poetry/Misc
Total Views:	301
Average Vote:	5.0000
Bytes:	791

Description:

Butterflies dots

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They say that losing all hope is freedom.
Well, I'm an inmate, a cellmate, a slave,
paralyzed and comatose from nothing,
and the same nightmare is still repeating.

Your sins have always been my confessions,
told to priests only through a dusty screen.
Butterflies corrode on a cold altar
on the other side of this wooden door...
And blood drips from a hundred empty pews,
coagulating with the face of God.
Maybe tomorrow, the building will burn,
but for now I kneel in quiet darkness.

They say that losing all hope is freedom.
Well, I'm an addict, a junkie, a creep,
still raping devotion with desire,
but this needle isn't clean anymore.

Submitted on 2008-03-26 00:35:00 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  Because this was so utterly amazing I am not going to have one intelligent word to say. I honestly have not read anything that caught me the way this did. The pictures you formed were oddly beautiful and it seemed to effortless for you. Each word landed right ... and brutally!

I don't have a favorite part ... the entire thing was amazing. It went together so smoothly with such elegant melancholy!

Damn girl. Kudos ...

Still
| Posted on 2009-10-30 00:00:00 | by StillimCold | [ Reply to This ]
  Wow, am I ever feeling this one tonight... Excellent metaphoric visuals in this. I am... oppressed. I am crawling.

Odd title... odder still how many butterflies I kill on the highway with my car. Why don't they stay in the fields where they belong//?

Sometimes I think they're just born to lose. All that work to morph, just to be so fragile and airy...
| Posted on 2009-09-27 00:00:00 | by Runes | [ Reply to This ]
  when I saw the name butterflies,I had to look,Razor,Butterflies?curiosity then brutally murderd my cat. Holy [censored] what the [censored],
this is my favorite,I would have to agree with the other comment and say you are a [censored]ng brilliant artist ,I am eternally humbled.

now on to the commnent,
the first lines are my favorite,
"they say that losing al hope is freedom,
well im an inmate,a cellmate a slave"

[censored] amang
| Posted on 2008-04-12 00:00:00 | by Diablo Tapitio | [ Reply to This ]
  you're a candle in a in a world of flashlights. you shine in a unique way.

im completely infatuated by the way you write. you're one of the very few people who i really give a damn about when i see they have written something.

i dont even know what to say about this piece. it's amazing. the imagery, the wording, the structure. i love it all

i'm borderline a.d.d., as you know, so the fact that the first and third(and last for that matter) stanzas are uniform made me very happy. it also helped that they were beautiful penned as well.

"And blood drips from a hundred empty pews,
coagulating with the face of God."

who the [censored] are you? you're an artist. i [censored] love that line. i'm a big fan of using the word 'and' and you know how i feel about blood. :)

this made me feel...empty, in a good way. if that makes any sense at all. most of all, it makes me want to write something.

when you cut, i bet you bleed amazing.

xo.
| Posted on 2008-03-28 00:00:00 | by caster | [ Reply to This ]
  Powerful, dark, and heavy. It pushes and crashes and tears into you. This is a piece for dark nights and desparate days. You did wonderfully with it I thought. My favorite part was
"They say that losing all hope is freedom.
Well, I'm an addict, a junkie, a creep,
still raping devotion with desire,
but this needle isn't clean anymore."
I just liked the way that verse sounded.

xoxo
| Posted on 2008-03-26 00:00:00 | by blu_kittin | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?

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