Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Butterfliesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Razor2TheRosary
    ASL Info:    24 - f - Philly
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 238/127/51
    Words: 117
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1074
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 791



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsButterfliesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    They say that losing all hope is freedom.
    Well, I'm an inmate, a cellmate, a slave,
    paralyzed and comatose from nothing,
    and the same nightmare is still repeating.


    Your sins have always been my confessions,
    told to priests only through a dusty screen.
    Butterflies corrode on a cold altar
    on the other side of this wooden door...
    And blood drips from a hundred empty pews,
    coagulating with the face of God.
    Maybe tomorrow, the building will burn,
    but for now I kneel in quiet darkness.


    They say that losing all hope is freedom.
    Well, I'm an addict, a junkie, a creep,
    still raping devotion with desire,
    but this needle isn't clean anymore.




    Submitted on 2008-03-26 00:35:00     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      "your sins have always been my confessions"

    love it...

    your stuff is so enticingly dark...but not just dark....so beautifully worded...the images are stark and bold...this poetry reminds me of reading runes...so good at that in your face style that knocks us backward...

    i will be back again

    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-05-25 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      Because this was so utterly amazing I am not going to have one intelligent word to say. I honestly have not read anything that caught me the way this did. The pictures you formed were oddly beautiful and it seemed to effortless for you. Each word landed right ... and brutally!

    I don't have a favorite part ... the entire thing was amazing. It went together so smoothly with such elegant melancholy!

    Damn girl. Kudos ...

    Still
    | Posted on 2009-10-30 00:00:00 | by StillimCold | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow, am I ever feeling this one tonight... Excellent metaphoric visuals in this. I am... oppressed. I am crawling.

    Odd title... odder still how many butterflies I kill on the highway with my car. Why don't they stay in the fields where they belong//?

    Sometimes I think they're just born to lose. All that work to morph, just to be so fragile and airy...
    | Posted on 2009-09-27 00:00:00 | by Runes | [ Reply to This ]
      when I saw the name butterflies,I had to look,Razor,Butterflies?curiosity then brutally murderd my cat. Holy [censored] what the [censored],
    this is my favorite,I would have to agree with the other comment and say you are a [censored]ng brilliant artist ,I am eternally humbled.

    now on to the commnent,
    the first lines are my favorite,
    "they say that losing al hope is freedom,
    well im an inmate,a cellmate a slave"

    [censored] amang
    | Posted on 2008-04-12 00:00:00 | by Diablo Tapitio | [ Reply to This ]
      you're a candle in a in a world of flashlights. you shine in a unique way.

    im completely infatuated by the way you write. you're one of the very few people who i really give a damn about when i see they have written something.

    i dont even know what to say about this piece. it's amazing. the imagery, the wording, the structure. i love it all

    i'm borderline a.d.d., as you know, so the fact that the first and third(and last for that matter) stanzas are uniform made me very happy. it also helped that they were beautiful penned as well.

    "And blood drips from a hundred empty pews,
    coagulating with the face of God."

    who the [censored] are you? you're an artist. i [censored] love that line. i'm a big fan of using the word 'and' and you know how i feel about blood. :)

    this made me feel...empty, in a good way. if that makes any sense at all. most of all, it makes me want to write something.

    when you cut, i bet you bleed amazing.

    xo.
    | Posted on 2008-03-28 00:00:00 | by caster | [ Reply to This ]
      Powerful, dark, and heavy. It pushes and crashes and tears into you. This is a piece for dark nights and desparate days. You did wonderfully with it I thought. My favorite part was
    "They say that losing all hope is freedom.
    Well, I'm an addict, a junkie, a creep,
    still raping devotion with desire,
    but this needle isn't clean anymore."
    I just liked the way that verse sounded.

    xoxo
    | Posted on 2008-03-26 00:00:00 | by blu_kittin | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    159465

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Shi written by ShyOne
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    Cover written by saartha
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    prison written by ShyOne
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    The World written by jjd
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry