[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: I give you dead things...dots

    Author: Ceyx
    Elite Ratio:    5.69 - 111/107/81
    Words: 276
    Class/Type: Poetry/BrokenHeart
    Total Views: 844
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 4337


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI give you dead things...dots

    These flowers are just so baleful;
                                             I cannot infer the meaning they hold
    A phantasy held in your twisted hand-
                                             it is a death well deserved

    I cannot comprehend why these zombies want to touch me

    I'm just like a dying flower, in a sea of your complacency-
                                                                                  I cry out

    I beg for a forgiveness divine and a sympathetic shoulder to stab,

    with a knife,

    now you are bleeding out smiles and pills...

    I can take it all from the great beyond that inspires me to crush- to maim, to destroy and kill-

    in my tiny cardboard city

    My touch;
             it burns hot and radioactive- shake my hand,
                                                                       show some manners
    Following, ever following- painted up in a traced shadow of blue
    I saw you from across the years-
                                             the minutes vexed me as they crept
    Hot, plastic Asians can't make up their minds
       -My blood does not taste like a delicious Christmas feast

    These flowers were alive when I picked them
                    -I give you dead things so you will love me more

    I can measure the amount you care, truly,
                    turn time into centimeters with this ruler, here-
                                         and it looks to be around two-point-three inches...

    ...Living flowers come in pots.

    Submitted on 2008-03-26 11:26:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      wow, holy crap and christ lol

    i loved it. damn you and Syn are awesome! you guys dont write the normal kind of poems with the over you used words. i love it.....

    i dont even see anything i can help make a suggestion on! 0.0.... i must be off my game or something

    I love the lay out, how you placed in your words. very nice hon. i wish there was more that i could say.

    all the love,
    | Posted on 2008-03-28 00:00:00 | by nikita2u | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]