Breaking the rules because there's nothing to by emoxday

"Ugh, I'm so pissed" he whispered through tears. Feel the need for self-mutilation he thought excitedly. When was the last time he purposefully hurt himself? A year ago... a long time. Scratching his legs and arms over and over until they turned bright pink.
He knew not to cut since bleeding usually left scars, or he was just a coward and didn't want to cut?
His hands stopped shaking and he exhaled a sigh of relieve the anger seemed to dissipate and he felt no pain. All that was left was whitish pink lines from were he slid his finger nail across his flesh. The adrenaline rush stopped and he felt better again the anger a small memory in his head.
Why he didn't smoke or drink? Cigarettes were not that hard to get, but he doubted they would make him feel good and he didn't want to ask people for them. Though the smell was so wonderful, it reminded him of his father and freedom. He didn't drink now because he didn't want to get into an argument with his mother, she already thought of him as an alcoholic. Which he didn't mind, it wasn't like he was out of control when he was drunk. He would usually get quieter then what he already was and lay in his bed. He proudly called himself a 'heavyweight'. Not like his older sister who was a hilarious 'lightweight'.
Listening to his most-played experimental music he thought about the 'sane' ways to let his anger/pain go away. Laughing he thought about writing or drawing, which made him feel the same as before. maybe even a little more worse.
His growling stomach took him out of his stupor. "Shh you" he whispered to his stomach smiling. When was the last time he actually ate? Six months? He lost count already. He was seeing how strong he was. And maybe he wanted people to talk about him already. Since he usually felt like a shadow.
Hardly talking to people, watching as they started to loose interest and leave him alone. Waiting for those friends everyone else seemed to have. Wondering at least once a day why he didn't have someone to confide in. But he wouldn't sulk about it. He didn't need 'friends' and he knew that.
He fell asleep wondering why.