Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • ES Magazine
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • Video Tutorials
  • RolePlay
  • 90% off Amazon
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: On Unhealthy Livingdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: LucyDiamond
    ASL Info:    17/F/Sky
    Elite Ratio:    3.95 - 365/561/240
    Words: 218
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 70
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1241



    Description:
       depression is making me obese.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsOn Unhealthy Livingdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Midnight a day ago
    is why I take those little green pills.
    I snuck downstairs in the dark
    and pulled a knife from the drawer,
    and sliced into



    a green apple.
    I gave a little morsel to our dog.
    The bitter juice
    didn’t bother me a bit.

    Then, I turned on the oven.
    I sat on the floor and waited
    for the heat to take hold, and I saw balloons,
    confetti, and streamers.
    I rocked back and forth.
    I was throwing myself a pity party!
    I put my face in my hands and
    cried,
    cried,
    cried,
    and stuck the pizza in the oven.

    I sat and watched the scene surround me,
    with the shifting shapes. An orange inflated
    to enormous size,
    and shrunk back again,
    hovering for a moment.
    The lights flashed like UFOs,
    whizzing in and out, so unfair.
    Our kitchen turned to jello
    and bent back and forth like a wall
    of water that surrounded me.

    The pizza was ready.
    I took it out, cut it,
    chop chop chop,

    and ate the entire thing.






    Submitted on 2008-03-28 04:30:23     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I really like this, because it's so relateable. "Oh I really shouldn't.....It's not good for me.....oh what the heck..."

    The only thing I wasn't crazy about was the big section about the lights. It was well-written, but I didn't think it really made sense. I'd rather hav eseen something about the internal battle that goes inbetween the apple and the pizza.

    Keep writing
    ~Venia
    | Posted on 2008-03-29 00:00:00 | by Venia | [ Reply to This ]
      theres a lot of unhealthyness in this piece and thats not just the pizza...

    i remember from somewhere that you should never eat when youre hurting, angy, lonely or tired but i think theres other moments they forgot to mention [and i think they were trying to be witty and accronym HALT] but dude... maybe these people know nothing coz when youre bored and its midnight what else are you sposed to do? lol

    the orange lights and changing room shapes and such seems rather like tripping out due to meds or lack of sleep or something haha

    i really appreciate the apple at the start... pure intentions of managing depression in a good way but it turned out not quite right...

    | Posted on 2008-03-29 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]



    Full Anime Episodes Streaming Free
    5 million youtube videos all rated over 4.7 stars with 40+ ratings

    [ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]

    Google
     

    [ Chrispian ] [ Write Forum ]
    [ Friends ] [ SNESroms ] .
    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry
    This user has been inactive for more than 5 days.