Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

On Unhealthy Living


Author: LucyDiamond
ASL Info:    17/F/Sky
Elite Ratio:    3.9 - 365 /575 /251
Words: 218
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 1355
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1243



Description:


depression is making me obese.


On Unhealthy Living



Midnight a day ago
is why I take those little green pills.
I snuck downstairs in the dark
and pulled a knife from the drawer,
and sliced into



a green apple.
I gave a little morsel to our dog.
The bitter juice
didn’t bother me a bit.

Then, I turned on the oven.
I sat on the floor and waited
for the heat to take hold, and I saw balloons,
confetti, and streamers.
I rocked back and forth.
I was throwing myself a pity party!
I put my face in my hands and
cried,
cried,
cried,
and stuck the pizza in the oven.

I sat and watched the scene surround me,
with the shifting shapes. An orange inflated
to enormous size,
and shrunk back again,
hovering for a moment.
The lights flashed like UFOs,
whizzing in and out, so unfair.
Our kitchen turned to jello
and bent back and forth like a wall
of water that surrounded me.

The pizza was ready.
I took it out, cut it,
chop chop chop,

and ate the entire thing.






Submitted on 2008-03-28 04:30:23     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  I really like this, because it's so relateable. "Oh I really shouldn't.....It's not good for me.....oh what the heck..."

The only thing I wasn't crazy about was the big section about the lights. It was well-written, but I didn't think it really made sense. I'd rather hav eseen something about the internal battle that goes inbetween the apple and the pizza.

Keep writing
~Venia
| Posted on 2008-03-29 00:00:00 | by Venia | [ Reply to This ]
  theres a lot of unhealthyness in this piece and thats not just the pizza...

i remember from somewhere that you should never eat when youre hurting, angy, lonely or tired but i think theres other moments they forgot to mention [and i think they were trying to be witty and accronym HALT] but dude... maybe these people know nothing coz when youre bored and its midnight what else are you sposed to do? lol

the orange lights and changing room shapes and such seems rather like tripping out due to meds or lack of sleep or something haha

i really appreciate the apple at the start... pure intentions of managing depression in a good way but it turned out not quite right...

| Posted on 2008-03-29 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



159566