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feel me

Author: love gone wrong
ASL Info:    27/m/colorado
Elite Ratio:    2.14 - 337 /381 /42
Words: 58
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 1666
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 387


heres my first person poem for the day. Lol

feel me

Be with me...
Come with me...
Walk with me....
Through a journey of self discovery
A voyage through my heart and soul
Let your emotions take control
Open yourself to love, lust, knowledge and joy
Share in my innerpeace, share in my serenity
Feel the cosmos of my soul, feel this life of sanctity
Hear me...
Feel me...

Submitted on 2004-02-06 18:31:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  it's realy nice in it's simplicity. something anyone can understand, and yet because of the emotions involved something so very few can understand fully, because they haven't experienced something similar.

i sorta think you should add another two-word line, sorta to balance it out. cuz you have 3 in the beginning, a chunk, and then two at the end. it might be better if there was three at the end as well.
| Posted on 2004-03-30 00:00:00 | by deadlydarkdevil | [ Reply to This ]
  mmmm.... definately a beckoning, and peaceful, but I wonder if it is so innocent as it first appears? Will the guileless nymph become a dragon-lady if we take one step too many? Makes me think of the "realm of faery" spoken of in many of the more serious Arthurian legend cycles. Well done. <><
| Posted on 2004-02-14 00:00:00 | by WorththeWait | [ Reply to This ]
  I like it to, the title doesn;t really do it justice. The short commands at the start catch one's attention, then the longer lines weave a seductive net, tempting as crash pointed out, but hinting at darkness or "more than meets than eye". Then the littl simple 2 word lines at the end, ..beckon so innocently....Good Write
| Posted on 2004-02-06 00:00:00 | by Silverdog | [ Reply to This ]
  I really like this. There is such a feeling of peace to it. Very calm. And it also leaves room for further thought. Nice work!
| Posted on 2004-02-06 00:00:00 | by Voodoo_Lounge | [ Reply to This ]

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