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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: no more strawberriesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Syn
    Elite Ratio:    5.13 - 88/89/66
    Words: 299
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 102
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 2285



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsno more strawberriesdots
    -------------------------------------------






    i'm not your strawberry grrrl and i never was
    she ruined everything and she still fucking does


    we've had our share of misfortunes, i know
    but at least i make an attempt to show-
    -you what love is, what she couldn't manage
    but you see, she left me at a disadvantage

    i had to repair you and bandage you up
    with presents of your blood to fill my cup
    and it all hurt me worse, by far, over time
    that there are remnants of her you STILL think sublime!

    i look into her window
    i live under her shadow


    but it doesn't make sense, since she hurt you so
    your volumes of writings are near overflow
    with pining for something you'll never get back
    i'm sorry, but she is just something i lack

    you're everything special, you're special to ME
    i'll try six thousand ways to make you see
    i'm just your starrshyne, if that even counts
    somehow i doubt anything can surmount

    and even though i rival her years with ours
    that's not enough time to erase your scars
    i love you more than you thought i could
    everything you've said, i've always understood

    forget if i ever pretend i don't get it
    sometimes i white-lie to you just to get fed it
    i like when you talk philosophically
    it's deep, and i love it and you've got to agree

    you're everything special, my heart is for free
    so forget her, let go and remember to love me


    i'm not your strawberry grrrl and i never was
    she ruined everything and she still fucking does



    *************************************************




    Submitted on 2008-03-30 00:11:55     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      hey bonita,

    im suprised by the intensity. though in the begining you had "[censored]" really close together so it kinda clashed. not saying its a bad thing, but at some points in this poem its almost like a stutter. umm other than that i dont see anything though im again suprised by the lack of stanzas cause most all your work i have seen are placed in them..

    as to the personal aspect, ive dealt with that before, till his jelousy and her shadow broke what ever i could feel for him, also he got a bit scary saying he was going to jump off a building but i was there in spirit to stop him from doing so...and i probably am saying to much lol.


    Beautiful poem sweetie. sorry this couldnt be longer.

    love
    Nikki
    | Posted on 2008-03-30 00:00:00 | by nikita2u | [ Reply to This ]


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