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    dots Submission Name: Other Monkey Island quotesdots

    Author: Lord Bane
    ASL Info:    24/M/Isle of Wight, UK
    Elite Ratio:    2.26 - 40/81/50
    Words: 1554
    Class/Type: Personal Quotes/Comedy
    Total Views: 4303
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 9986


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsOther Monkey Island quotesdots

    Monkey Island 4
    Guybrush Threepwood: That's the second biggest monkey head I've ever seen!

    Herman Toothrot: Hey, I remember where I left my pants!

    [Upon being told that a core belief in LeChuck's church is LeChuck's marriage to Elaine]
    Guybrush Threepwood: Elaine can't marry LeChuck; she's already married!
    Reverend Rasputin: The first church of LeChuck (orthodox) doesn't recognize Elaine's blasphemous marriage to the... Anti-LeChuck.
    Guybrush Threepwood: Who?
    Reverend Rasputin: The evil Anti-LeChuck, "He-Whose-Name-Must-Not-Be-Spoken".
    Guybrush Threepwood: Guybrush Threepwood?
    Reverend Rasputin: Ack, you said the name! Blasphemer!
    Guybrush Threepwood: I'M the Anti-LeChuck?
    Reverend Rasputin: Hahahaha. Don't be silly. The Anti-LeChuck is three meters tall, has a prehensile tail, a forked tongue, and the number "1138" stamped on his forehead.

    Guybrush Threepwood: I find it hard to believe that the SCUMM Bar is owned by someone named I. Cheese.

    Guybrush Threepwood: [singing] Oh... the... Lava is hotter/ than a flame-broiled otter/ and my shoes are slowly melting to the fiberglass floor.

    Guybrush Threepwood: Pick up the moon? Are you nuts?

    Dainty Lady Figurehead: Okay! Who painted me pink?

    Guybrush Threepwood: [singing] Oh the temperature is rising and my sweat is vaporizing and I cannot feel my legs below the knees anymore

    Guybrush: You could get fired if people found out you posed for that picture
    Harbor Mistress: How do you think I got my last promotion?
    Guybrush: I'd rather not know

    Guybrush: Ozzie! I had a feeling you were working for LeChuck
    Ozzie: I'm afraid you've got it backwards pirate boy LeChuck's working for me
    Guybrush: Well that makes me feel better...

    Guybrush Threepwood: That pig-shaped bush frightens and confuses me.

    Monkey Island 2
    Guybrush Threepwood: That's the second biggest X I've ever seen!

    Guybrush Threepwood: Do you like my new beard?

    Voodoo Lady: There's only one way to escape from Lechuck.
    Guybrush Threepwood: How?
    Voodoo Lady: You're doing it right now.
    Guybrush Threepwood: Fiddling with the change in my pocket?

    Largo LaGrande: You're making me Mad Marty.
    Marty: That's my name, don't wear it out.

    LeChuck: I... am your brother!
    Guybrush Threepwood: No! No, that's not true!
    LeChuck: Search your feelings, you KNOW it to be true!
    Guybrush Threepwood: Noooooooooooooooooooo!

    Guybrush Threepwood: Hey, dynamite... just like it says on the side!

    Rapp Scallion: Now I can finally rest within the fold of the earth... like a Steamin' Weenie on a hot bun.

    Voodoo Lady: Two, four, six, eight, who do we assassinate? Largo, Largo, yeah!

    Herman Toothrot: If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, what color is the tree?
    [the player must now go through 40 or so answers before finally being allowed to select:]
    Guybrush: All colors?
    Herman Toothrot: Exactly. Now, what has this experience taught you?
    Guybrush: That philosophy isn't worth my time.
    Herman Toothrot: I'm very impressed. It takes most people years to reach this point.

    [Guybrush is being mugged by Largo LaGrande]
    Guybrush: HEEELP! Police!
    Largo: HA! Scream all you want, there are no police on Scabb Island.
    Guybrush: Then who eats all the doughnuts and roughs up the transients?

    [LeChuck has captured Guybrush and Wally and explained them the intricate torture mechanism]
    LeChuck: Do you know what happens next?
    Guybrush: Umm... Well...
    LeChuck: I will then take your bones, still alive and in great pain, and make them into a chair. I will call it "My Screaming Chair". Every day I will sit in it and listen to you scream. Any questions?
    [LeChuck soon gets tired of Guybrush's stupid questions and leaves the scene]
    Wally: He didn't say what he was going to do to me!
    Guybrush: An ottoman comes to mind.

    Rapp Scallion: Violets are blue. Roses are read. We're coming aboard. Prepare to eat lead.

    Guybrush Threepwood: Leg or no leg, I trust you about as far as I could throw Manhattan.

    Largo LaGrande: You're not from these parts are ya? This here's a toll bridge you've got to pay.
    Guybrush: Is this some sort of bribery situation?
    Largo LaGrande: No more like extortion, here allow me to demonstrate.
    [Picks up Guybrush and holds him upside down over the side of the bridge]

    [to LeChuck]
    Guybrush: Have you ever tried conditioner on that beard?

    [while hanging over a pit of acid]
    Guybrush: Wally?
    Wally: Yeah?
    Guybrush: Could you scratch my nose?
    Wally: Yeah, right after you kiss my butt.

    Guybrush: If I could just reach my pirate utility belt...

    [after finding out LeChuck will be brought back to life]
    Guybrush: He's going to come after me!
    Voodoo Lady: Yes.
    Guybrush: He's going to try to kill me!
    Voodoo Lady: Undoubtedly.
    Guybrush: Can you just kill me now and get it over with?

    [Using Voodoo doll on Largo]
    Guybrush: Take that you stumpy little dim-witted toad!

    [to Elaine Marley]
    Guybrush: So? You and the gardener, eh?

    [Looking at a bust in Elaine Marley's room]
    Guybrush: You know I heard some guys talking about Marleys bust, this must be it.

    Lechuck: Largo you've been my trusted henchman for many years but I will not hesitate to drag your entrails from the back of my ship if you do not bring me Guybrush Threepwood before he finds that treasure!

    [after Governor Phatt has said that LeChuck is offering a large bounty for Guybrush's capture]
    Guybrush: I bet that money could buy a lot of bacon grease and pure fat, huh?

    Guybrush: They don't call me the Bone Master for nothin'!

    Guybrush Threepwood: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
    Woodchuck: A woodchuck could chuck no amount of wood since a woodchuck couldn't chuck wood.
    Guybrush Threepwood: But if a woodchuck could chuck and would chuck some amount of wood, what amount of wood would a woodchuck chuck?
    Woodchuck: Even if a woodchuck could chuck wood, and even if a woodchuck would chuck wood, should a woodchuck chuck wood?
    Guybrush Threepwood: A woodchuck should chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood, as long as a woodchuck would chuck wood.
    Woodchuck: Oh, shut up!

    Guybrush Threepwood: She named the dog Guybrush?

    Monkey Island 1
    Otis: Oh, come on. Don't be bitter. I'm here to help. Not just for the money.
    Guybrush Threepwood: Money?
    Carla: Yeah, we are getting paid for this, right?
    Guybrush Threepwood: How appropriate. You fight like a cow.
    Carla: You never did know when to use that one.

    Pirate Leader: Do you have any special skills?
    Guybrush Threepwood: I can hold my breath for ten minutes!

    Stan: I've changed my mind. I can't giver her up. You can have your money bac. How could I sell something so dear?
    [a large part of the ship breaks and falls into the water]
    Stan: Then again, a deal's a deal, right? Right. Catch ya later. Good luck. Enjoy. I'm outta here.

    LeChuck: You dared come here to confront me!
    Guybrush Threepwood: I've just remembered an appointment at the dentist's.

    Bob: Captain LeChuck... sir... I...
    LeChuck: Ah... There's nothin' like the hot winds of hell blowin' in your face.
    Bob: No sir... Nothing like it... Ah... Sir... I...
    LeChuck: It's days like this that make ye glad to be dead.
    Bob: Oh, yes sir... glad to be dead...
    LeChuck: Ye are glad to be dead, RIGHT?
    Bob: Oh yes sir. I feel so luck that you happened to capture my ship, then murder me and everyone on board... yes sir... lucky.
    LeChuck: Glad to hear it.

    LeChuck: [as Fester Shinetop] So long, Mr. Spicecake, or Droopface, or whatever your name is!

    Pirate: You make me want to puke.
    Guybrush: You make me think somebody already did.

    Guybrush Threepwood: Please don't kill me.
    Ghost Pirate LeChuck: Give me one good reason why I shouldn't kill ye.
    Guybrush Threepwood: I'm wired to explode if anyone tries to kill me.

    Guybrush Threepwood: That's the second biggest monkey head I've ever seen!

    Cannibals: Is that a banana in your pocket, or are you just happy to see us?

    Guybrush Threepwood: [one of three possible last lines] Well, if there's one thing I've learned, it's this: never pay more than 20 dollars for a computer game.
    Elaine: What's that?
    Guybrush Threepwood: Never mind. I don't know why I said that.

    Mancomb Seepgood: HA! Guybrush Threepwood! That's the stupidest name I've ever heard!
    Guybrush Threepwood: Hey! What's your name then?
    Mancomb Seepgood: Mancomb Seepgood.

    Submitted on 2008-03-30 06:09:54     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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