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    dots Submission Name: Bronzedots

    Author: Algol46
    ASL Info:    200/m/East of Eden
    Elite Ratio:    2.72 - 1111/1235/613
    Words: 132
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 539
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 883


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    I mark the shore where storm winds sweep
    Across the black volcanic sands,
    Where one bronze idol, tilted, stands,
    Whose lips are charged with dark commands,
    And curses from the nether deep.

    Its wrists once girt with golden bands,
    Purloined by pirates one grey dawn,
    Before its subjects rose to fawn
    Upon that lofty idolís lawn
    Who ruled this islandís many lands.

    Now gone those grand and royal years,
    Green mosses beard its jutting chin,
    The bronze has worn near paper thin,
    Like some sad soul long plagued with sin,
    And sea gulls nest within its ears.

    Long have these eyes of ebony
    Glared on the teeming ocean there,
    Its head held high in mist-white air,
    Though now so old, in disrepair,
    Will topple soon into the sea.

    Submitted on 2008-03-31 09:51:05     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I concur with the above. I was there, through the read.
    | Posted on 2008-03-31 00:00:00 | by jkhutchings | [ Reply to This ]
      I love the stunning rhyme scheme, meter, and the story woven into this one! Like Tif said, this one also evokes strong images, as one can almost picture the time worn and aging Idol.

    Such an excellent poem needs a stronger title than just "Bronze"; I suggest "The Bronze Idol", or perhaps "The Tilted Idol".

    Outstanding work, and a joy to read!
    | Posted on 2008-03-31 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]
      Very well done! You had a spot-on flow and rhythm and your stanzas were very powerful in relaying the story!
    I got a very strong visual in my head - like a mini movie - stimulating because of the words painting a vivid picture!
    love,peace,joy,abundance & smiles to share
    | Posted on 2008-03-31 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]

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