Existence by inkpen

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dots

<< | >>

Submission Name: Existence dots

--------------------------------------------------------

Author:	inkpen
ASL Info:	19
Elite Ratio:	4.12 - 391/199/61
Words:	99

Class/Type:	Misc/Society
Total Views:	989
Average Vote:	4.0000
Bytes:	606

Description:

Existence dots

-------------------------------------------

Our toxic fumes
A long wars Ba-booms
Some will lose, some will win
None are saints, all will sin
Inner hate makes us dead
Young love may keep us ahead
So many corrupted souls
Many more hearts with so many holes
Salty tears when we look back
How it all seems to move so very fast
If none try, none will achieve
Theres a time to laugh, and a time to grieve
Around and around we all go
Where we're going, we have yet to know
Soft, sweet music in the distance
This is our planets long, cold existence

Submitted on 2008-04-01 14:32:50 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
I think this is absolutely brilliant. It flows very nicely and I love what it describes. I love it all. Favorited.
| Posted on 2008-04-01 00:00:00 | by leadpencil | [ Reply to This ]
beautiful words... striking. you have quite a good poem here. i wouldnt change a thing,i love the twists and love the imagery
favorite parts:
"Some will lose, some will win
None are saints, all will sin"
"So many corrupted souls
Many more hearts with so many holes"
great write! thanks for sharing!
ali
| Posted on 2008-04-01 00:00:00 | by Ali Marie | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece? 7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?

159733

Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

Enter your search terms Submit search form

Web www.eliteskills.com

[ Quick Signup ]
[ Lost Password ]

January 10 07
131,497 Poems
Posted

I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

[ Angst Poetry ]
[ Cutters ]
[ Famous Poetry ]
[ Poetry Scams ]

FontSize:
[ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]

Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3 It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
It means a lot to them, as it does to you.