Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Bricks, bricks, bricksdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Ceyx
    Elite Ratio:    5.69 - 111/107/81
    Words: 249
    Class/Type: Poetry/Angry
    Total Views: 713
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2823



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBricks, bricks, bricksdots
    -------------------------------------------







    Well,
       there are these little things called promises
    That when, not kept, are then called lies

    There's this little thing called lovehurtlost
       That comes at far to high a cost

    -So, again, I find my
                              eyes wet
    Well, no, not really...
                              -Not yet

    See; I've played this game before

    ~you are playing me now~

    So, fuck your:
                    emo 180
    Fuck your:
                black-lit deception

    And to think, for you, I made an exception...

    (thought you said you'd wait)

    You left me with this weight
                  Baited me along with-

    Oh, fuck those pretty promises you said to me in bed
    Drunk and manipulating my already troubled head
    Oh, just one more trip around the Sun
    I am just so fucking done!
    Now vague your way into obscurity
    You and your shady, false security

    Watch this:
                Watch me walk away now
    See this?:
                This is what you get now

    (This: rots)

    I don't see how you're going to try to say that you're not playing me
    What with the lack of words that you are now not even saying to me


    I can count to-
                one, two, three
    outdone, untrue and disagree
    I can count to-
                four, five and six
    Implore, strive, bricks, bricks, BRICKS!!!

    ...and that's it.









    Submitted on 2008-04-01 15:05:38     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Wow.

    Just wow.

    The style of this poem is amazing..It reminds me of the style I use to write in, when I had something worth a [censored] to say..but now, who cares, really? No one.

    A lot of emotion in this piece..A feeling that many can relate to.
    Me: Being one of them.
    It sucks to get played, to get used, to get lied to..But it happens, people are selfish.

    Anywho, on a lighter note..great piece, i'll have to read more of your work. Keep it up!

    -KiTTen
    | Posted on 2008-04-08 00:00:00 | by rainbowXrazors | [ Reply to This ]
      i'm a big fan of the form of this piece.

    just the way you chose to present it is artistic enough.

    lots of high energy here, but the actual cohesiveness of the piece is lacking and the subject is cliché in places.

    most places.

    however, once again, the way you put this thing together is testament enough that you have strengths in this arena.

    very well done on the points i mentioned, and hopefully you improve on the areas i said you ought to.

    good work.

    ~KRG
    | Posted on 2008-04-01 00:00:00 | by Sheakhan | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    159735

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Date night written by expiring_touch
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    Incubus written by monad
    Bond written by saartha
    I'm here written by BloodtornAngel
    Giving written by jjd
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    ME written by jjd
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    The Promise written by annie0888
    Commencement written by Ramneet
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Wavelength written by saartha
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Can't let my demons go written by faideddarkness
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Linger written by saartha
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry