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    dots Submission Name: Bricks, bricks, bricksdots

    Author: Ceyx
    Elite Ratio:    5.69 - 111/107/81
    Words: 249
    Class/Type: Poetry/Angry
    Total Views: 713
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2823


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBricks, bricks, bricksdots

       there are these little things called promises
    That when, not kept, are then called lies

    There's this little thing called lovehurtlost
       That comes at far to high a cost

    -So, again, I find my
                              eyes wet
    Well, no, not really...
                              -Not yet

    See; I've played this game before

    ~you are playing me now~

    So, fuck your:
                    emo 180
    Fuck your:
                black-lit deception

    And to think, for you, I made an exception...

    (thought you said you'd wait)

    You left me with this weight
                  Baited me along with-

    Oh, fuck those pretty promises you said to me in bed
    Drunk and manipulating my already troubled head
    Oh, just one more trip around the Sun
    I am just so fucking done!
    Now vague your way into obscurity
    You and your shady, false security

    Watch this:
                Watch me walk away now
    See this?:
                This is what you get now

    (This: rots)

    I don't see how you're going to try to say that you're not playing me
    What with the lack of words that you are now not even saying to me

    I can count to-
                one, two, three
    outdone, untrue and disagree
    I can count to-
                four, five and six
    Implore, strive, bricks, bricks, BRICKS!!!

    ...and that's it.

    Submitted on 2008-04-01 15:05:38     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||

    Just wow.

    The style of this poem is amazing..It reminds me of the style I use to write in, when I had something worth a [censored] to say..but now, who cares, really? No one.

    A lot of emotion in this piece..A feeling that many can relate to.
    Me: Being one of them.
    It sucks to get played, to get used, to get lied to..But it happens, people are selfish.

    Anywho, on a lighter note..great piece, i'll have to read more of your work. Keep it up!

    | Posted on 2008-04-08 00:00:00 | by rainbowXrazors | [ Reply to This ]
      i'm a big fan of the form of this piece.

    just the way you chose to present it is artistic enough.

    lots of high energy here, but the actual cohesiveness of the piece is lacking and the subject is cliché in places.

    most places.

    however, once again, the way you put this thing together is testament enough that you have strengths in this arena.

    very well done on the points i mentioned, and hopefully you improve on the areas i said you ought to.

    good work.

    | Posted on 2008-04-01 00:00:00 | by Sheakhan | [ Reply to This ]

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