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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: With time I realisedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: b_v_grant
    ASL Info:    23/M/Jamaica
    Elite Ratio:    3.27 - 125/118/69
    Words: 208
    Class/Type: Lyrics/BrokenHeart
    Total Views: 702
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1376



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWith time I realisedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Verse 1

    My heart is breaking,
    With no hope I'm falling through.
    The world you're taking,
    Cause you left me without you.

    I breathe in no air,
    Can't hear what you say,
    I worry time won't take you back,
    Back in my arms...

    Chorus

    Sometimes it's hard to say goodbye,
    Sometimes it's even hard to cry,
    All of the truth you wished were lies.
    No more blue skies,
    With time I realise.

    Verse 2

    You're gone and I know,
    Can you still answer my questions,
    Were you too scared to show me,
    How you really feel

    Chorus

    Sometimes it's hard to say goodbye,
    Sometimes your heart still holds on tight,
    Every day just fades to night,
    No more blue skies,
    With time I realise....

    Bridge

    Wont stop here,
    Soon find my way...
    Wont fall behind

    Chorus

    .... no more blue skies,
    with time I realise

    .... no more blue skies,
    with time I realise

    ....no more blue skies,
    with time I realise

    ....no more blue skies,
    with time I realise







    Submitted on 2008-04-02 23:10:12     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I was reading what hybridsongwrite said below, I read what he said on your other piece and was less than pleased maybe because you're my BFF and I'm overprotective but I do agree with what he wrote here. This is really nice. You seem to not be able to get over your heartache then again thats all you seem to be getting so it might be fitting. Anyhoo I really liked this piece and the one before it. You really have grown and matured in your skill. I'm so proud, go on and do the damn thing then.

    Cheering you on with pom-poms,
    Jay.
    | Posted on 2008-04-11 00:00:00 | by Flowerinbloom | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm not a fan of simply handing out either complments or critiques. People should have to earn them.
    With that being said i had a few thoughts while reading this.
    First, the flow of the lyrics was superb. It is not very often that a person can write a lyric that seems to have a natural tempo built into it, and that is a gift, not something that can be taught.
    Second, the rhymes were very good, but i was hoping for more expansion on the verses themselves for length.
    My only critique (which, trust me, is good there's only one coming from me), is that some of the phrases used sounded cliché. However, to quote Dave Grohl from the foo fighters in a recent issue of Revolver, " At the same time, i believe when you're writing a song you shouldn't worry about clichés. You should just f*cking say what you wanna say. You should keep from editing yourself. Second-guessing and feeling self-conscious will keep you from saying what you really feel." I find this to be true in my own work as well.
    Overall, a very excellent piece, and easily one of my favorites, despite the typical "heartbreak" topic.
    | Posted on 2008-04-05 00:00:00 | by hybridsongwrite | [ Reply to This ]
      These are really good lyrics, and I know a lot of people can really relate to them. Sounds like a song I would listen to, as long as it had a good beat going with it. I also really like "All of the truth you wished were lies" Because I think so many people with what they said and felt were lies because they got hurt... (or maybe thats just me? haha.) I have to admit, I love good lyrics that don't involve "my lip gloss is poppin my lip gloss is cool."...ugh ugh.) The chorus is perfect btw! Awesome job!
    -inkpen
    | Posted on 2008-04-03 00:00:00 | by inkpen | [ Reply to This ]
      nice lyric. i know its cliché but i mean it; simple yet sweet. it covers up alot of emotions that people actually go through when there's this special separation.

    "All of the truth you wished were lies."
    this line is nice. i like the way opposite words were used in once sentence.

    and honestly, i find this giving an impact on some people, esp those going separation and they understanding what each words mean. kinda scary...in a good way i mean, as it impacts.
    | Posted on 2008-04-03 00:00:00 | by rosesrouges | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
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    5. Which parts?
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    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
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    12. Does it feel original?



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