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Submission Name:
When You.....
--------------------------------------------------------
Author:
sweetme16
ASL Info:
18/f/who cares
Elite Ratio:
2.21 - 108/251/162
Words:
51
Class/Type:
Misc/Misc
Total Views:
134
Average Vote:
No vote yet.
Bytes:
318
Description:
something that just popped into my head. I know it needs work so adivise would be appreciated.
When You.....
-------------------------------------------
When you love me
I値l love you back
When you kiss me
I値l kiss you with all my heart
When you hold me
I値l hold you harder
When you tell me something
I値l truly listen
When you hurt me
I値l hurt you back much worse
Submitted on 2008-04-04 11:33:48
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||| Comments |||
Hey i really like this poem it is simple and straight to the point. good job!
| Posted on 2008-04-23 00:00:00 | by
easily_ammused
| [
Reply to This
]
This is a very simple poem. I really like the idea of it and how it ends is a welcome surprise. Perhaps it needs more imagery or maybe even a bit longer in order to fill it out more.
Thanks for posting!
| Posted on 2008-04-04 00:00:00 | by
The Conqueror
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Submission Name: When You.....
