Hypnosis© by babyblue002

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Submission Name: Hypnosis© dots

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Author:	babyblue002
Elite Ratio:	8 - 438/254/44
Words:	201

Class/Type:	Poetry/Serious
Total Views:	293
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	1526

Description:
I dunno

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Rusty dreams squeal in loneliness
crafts of long days encrypted in passions.
Where death angel is the only friend, you miss.
Eradicated smiles hide decay of minds
stages for freak shows playing over and over again.
Looking up to puppets dancing in hi-tech boxes
repetitive acts, different settings, different facade.
Animate dolls become role models
to beguiled generations.

Virgin minds soiled with verbal pollution
images transgress intimacy of thought
to annihilate all sign of ingenuity.
Stale minds are born into the sun
they see how it burns but never see its light,
heinous flames burn enchanted dreams.

Free reflection is dead and not mourned
sheep and wolves follow the same path
cheer to similar dogmas instilled in early years,
ones they fight for unaware.
Steel war birds can make loops,
create chromatic rings and messages of peace,
or deliver missives of greed and power mania
that obliterate life and hope.

Does man really choose his path,
or does he follow a basic instinct
of control and abolition
of everything different?

Can awakened minds endure oppression?
Can man survive auto destruction?
Can we overcome our robotization?

Submitted on 2008-04-04 15:02:03 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  This is very profound, and very timely! Many good things have come from our high-technology age, but much has been lost, and amongst those things are the innocence of a simpler age, and perhaps a slower, gentler world where things were thought about and took time to bring to fruition.

Your verse shows an inate genius, and a compassion and concern for the good of mankind (and a healthy concern for the ominous threats of intensely lethal technology).

Nice work!
| Posted on 2009-06-22 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]
  Im the rust that rusts...
who am I, but perhaps the last four questions should be answered within your piece?
perhaps one poignant question to ponder on leaving stirrs some thought...

but four; it's all a little too much for my little brain

i feel a little frustrated because there seems to be two poems in one here; a kind of hybrid of something that resembles traditional or classic writing, and something that is trying to deal, both in terms of prose and sociology, with the way the world is today

I think you can do one or the other, but mix the two...
it feels like drawers and garters under kevlar jackets and mainframe-skins

I don't think you've finished it, and I don't think you know where it is going, which is fine

I have recently written 2 books and learned that no one should see it until the third edition.

But I get the message, so it works on that level [and I didn't think I was going to]

be well...

| Posted on 2008-08-13 00:00:00 | by on1eday.co.uk | [ Reply to This ]
  Wow, Viv, this is a complete departure from anything I've ever read of yours these past three years or so . . . very unexpected. The tone is different as well. You are usually more optimistic, or . . . as I have always been fond of saying, your poems and prose have always had that sense of the children's book about them, as they are wise and sweet and your imagery is usually more feminine, or . . . softer.

I would take what Alia said a step further and talk about the energy we use as units of sunshine, how a society or world that runs entirely on the sun's energy can support about a half-billion to a billion (or so) people. We don't live in such a world because we've tapped into sources beyond what the sun actually radiates upon the planet in a given year by tapping into stores of old sun-energy, like coal and other fossil fuels. This is where we are now and it's dangerous because we have access to stores of energy far in excess of what the planet could support without these sources. So, take them away and suddenly we wouldn't be able to support the energy requirements of the 6 billion people we have on planet earth . . . a day when Peak Oil is reached and then after that, when all reserves are used up and we will be back to relying only upon the current energy provided by the sun again. I didn't mean to digress but it's a difficult concept to grasp. Just what it means is that we've artificially sustained a vast number of people via the use of fossil fuels that would not have been possible in any other way, and since these stores are limited, one day there will be hell to pay, unless we find the means to increase our energy output without fossil fuels.

And since we do live in the Information Age and because we're bombarded with these abilities to . . . well, the technologies should be bringing us closer together, but in fact they are doing the exact opposite. They should be making us smarter, more in tune, but instead they are pulling us apart, and for many, dumbing the average person down. With so much information at our fingertips you'd think we'd be able to rise up rather quickly . . . but no. We're losing touch with nature, with each other, and with this idea of community, the ties that bind, and all for an even more artificial world. Everything man has ever created has been artificial, from the mind and into reality, like our cities, our knowledge, our religions, all of it . . . they are constructs, simulacra or as your image above suggests . . . cyborgian.

I think man can survive, but . . . the changes I've seen even in the past decade or so are frightening. People have given up so many things. I wonder . . . if we do survive, will we recognize ourselves? It's in our natures to evolve and to adapt, change and grow. I'm not sure if that growth will be for the better. If we don't shift away from this greedy form of capitalism into a more sustainable use of the planet and that energy I spoke of, we'll be in serious trouble.

I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

Thanks for sharing this one, Viv. As I said, it was a real surprise, but well done. Even the way you wrote it conveys this tone of a lessened humanity, which coming from you . . . is just that much more disturbing.

Michael
| Posted on 2008-05-09 00:00:00 | by Vancrown | [ Reply to This ]
  This is an interesting poem. Though I am young, I think I can grasp the basic meaning of it. Beautifully worded I think it is. You start out kind of hiding your meaning, then you just kind of state it flat out. I like that.

I'm not sure if there is anything we can do. Those who are more powerful are kind of controlled by an inner sense of greed which may have been always lying dormant within them, only to be awakened when the time was right.

I love this poem, it is very good.

~Jazzy
| Posted on 2008-04-06 00:00:00 | by Jazzy | [ Reply to This ]

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