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    dots Submission Name: my living body-miracledots

    Author: blackbird
    ASL Info:    31/male/reykjavik iceland
    Elite Ratio:    2.35 - 194/328/300
    Words: 258
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 629
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1793


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsmy living body-miracledots

    when i find myself
    turning into the awkward experience
    of everything,
    i slip back to the point
    when my eyes were blue
    & the world seemed to have no other purpose
    than to prove my living body-miracle.

    but the concrete air
    has no inner devil i can be.
    & each day,
    i find my way
    into terrible sleep
    & shadows where the play of leaves
    reminds me of all-mother
    & darling canary hands
    so damaged
    & once adored.

    all of my children,
    you scream in agony
    in your secret brains.
    the wood of your fingers
    passes through the walls
    of my skin
    with subtle, trembling indifference.
    have you been mine
    where the fever
    mixes honey with the spit?

    even the owls are mourning
    & there is no evening
    where shaking branches
    breed relief
    for those of us who waver here,
    so heartfully
    dreaming of queens
    and the princess golden.

    i hear the clapping on the forest.
    i can touch the blue wind
    like water to the palm of my eye.
    let the flowers
    expelled from my mouth
    be a lesson to you all.
    we will all have the summer to explore.
    we will all wake
    to the end
    with a growing sense
    that beauty is everywhere.

    from my undying cardinal heart
    & the twisting earthy path
    between us,
    let all things
    find a circle
    where we can love.
    death is every moment,
    each breath
    & all the people
    that we have known.

    i am always becoming everything

    Submitted on 2008-04-05 19:23:03     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      "i slip back to the point
    when my eyes were blue
    & the world seemed to have no other purpose
    than to prove my living body-miracle."

    I love these lines. You seem to be a good writer. What you're lacking though are good finishing lines. I sometimes use the trick of repeating the first lines backwards like in the poem you've read. Read some more poetry and try to find and modify tricks to suit your own needs.
    | Posted on 2008-06-11 00:00:00 | by Paradox | [ Reply to This ]

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