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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Til Death Do Us Partdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: running†wild
    ASL Info:    14/F/ME
    Elite Ratio:    0.52 - 0/1/1
    Words: 107
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 471
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 652



    Description:
       I wrote this a while ago actually last year. Its been on my myspace blog and i decided maybe i should post it on here to get some reviews. Trash it compliment it I don't care. I want honest opinions.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTil Death Do Us Partdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Slit my wrist and let it bleed
    Just watch what's left, pour out of me
    My soul is lost, my thoughts are gone
    And my body wanders through thickened fog
    Through trees and bush, and swampy marsh
    Through tombs and graves where lovers part
    I stand and stare down at my grave
    While roses and trinkets, in front, you lay
    You're dressed in black as if I'm dead
    While in your eyes, withhold a fiery red
    You scream and cry, then kick my grave
    And curse my name, as you walk away
    My memories fade, along with pain
    As the blood of my veins, continues to drain




    Submitted on 2008-04-06 16:21:49     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I like some of the imagery used in this poem. It's poetically dark, and not just some drawn out overly-emo-crying-on-my-sleeve crap. Which is good. I'd like to see you build on this, maybe make a song out of it.
    | Posted on 2008-04-07 00:00:00 | by hybridsongwrite | [ Reply to This ]


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