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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Early Morning Confessiondots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: hybridsongwrite
    ASL Info:    20 / M / MN, USA
    Elite Ratio:    3.82 - 185/163/68
    Words: 398
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Misc
    Total Views: 895
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 2301



    Description:
       This was a song i wrote, as closure to an extremely draining situation with an ex of mine, and the friends that got involved in it, and how it felt to lose her, get played, and lose them as well.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsEarly Morning Confessiondots
    -------------------------------------------


    V1
    Tears fill his eyes as he sees his surroundings
    It took an escape to realize that he made a mistake
    Awake, but in his mind he starts to drift away
    ‘Cause his heart’s too burdened, and his head’s in pain
    Everything he says is in vain, it doesn’t make any sense at all
    No one to turn to, no one he can call
    ‘Cause when it comes down to it, sometimes we all fall
    But how can he run, or walk, when he can barely crawl

    chorus
    Afraid, in a daze, he’s paniced, curled up on the floor
    Drinks one down to calm his nerves, ‘cause he can’t take it anymore
    He’s been down, but now, he feels like he’s lost his soul
    But he knows….he’s the one to blame

    v2
    Everything feels like a lie when you don’t really know
    Why every time you gain control, you’re forced to let go
    Hollow, he’s a disfigured shell of a troubled soul
    ‘Cause the last thing that was his, somebody stole
    But isn’t that the goal, when everyone turns on everybody else
    This place is lonely, ‘cause people only care about themselves
    And now, this man is me, how hard is that to tell?
    ‘Cause i’ve tried to comfort you, and you only care about yourself

    chorus
    Afraid, in a daze, I’m paniced, curled up on the floor
    I’ll drink one down to calm my nerves, ‘cause I can’t take it anymore
    I’ve been down, but now, it feels like I can’t let go
    But I know… I’m the one to blame

    v3
    My heart is spilling out, and you just turn away
    Like you’ll do tomorrow, and like you did yesterday
    It never changes, these places are only a temporary escape
    ‘Cause your “I love you’s” are more than I can take
    And if actions breed words, yours would write a book
    I’d be the author so you could see how much it took
    Out of my heart every night to believe that you cared
    Just to look around and see that you’re never there

    chorus
    Afraid, in a daze, I’m paniced, and I feel like a whore
    I’ll drink one down to calm my nerves, ‘cause I can’t take it anymore
    Keep me down, let me go, before it’s too late for me, my love
    Just give up….walk away from me




    Submitted on 2008-04-06 16:24:28     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      As you had said on mine, one would glance at this and think it's just another breakup song, but nto even half way through it I could feel the pain and the empty feeling. I love when lyrics can make me feel the way that the person who wrote it felt. You've captured your emotion and woven it through you're words and passed it on to others. I'm gonna read some more now!

    =MHK=
    | Posted on 2008-06-14 00:00:00 | by Ayane | [ Reply to This ]
      I love this... I wish I could write lyrics lol.
    (one thing I didnt get was the how the name fits it? )
    Okay ill try to give some constructive crtisism :P

    ------ if it looks like this then its my suggestion ---------

    V1
    Tears fill his eyes as he sees his surroundings
    It took an escape to realize that he made a mistake
    Awake, but in his mind he starts to drift away
    ‘Cause his heart’s too burdened, and his head’s in pain
    Everything he says is in vain, it doesn’t make any sense at all
    No one to turn to, no one he can call
    ‘Cause when it comes down to it, sometimes we all fall
    But how can he run, or walk, when he can barely crawl

    But how can he run, or walk, when he can barely crawl
    -
    But how can he run, or even walk,
    when he can barely crawl?


    chorus
    Afraid, in a daze, he’s paniced paniced - panicked, curled up on the floor
    Drinks one down to calm his nerves, ‘cause he can’t take it anymore
    He’s been down, but now, he feels like he’s lost his soul
    But he knows….he’s the one to blame

    v2
    Everything feels like a lie when you don’t really know
    Why every time you gain control, you’re forced to let go
    Hollow, he’s a disfigured shell of a troubled soul
    ‘Cause the last thing that was his, somebody stole
    ‘Cause the last thing that was his, somebody stole
    -
    ‘Cause the last thing that was his,
    Somebody went and stole

    But isn’t that the goal, when everyone turns on everybody else
    This place is lonely, ‘cause people only care about themselves
    And now, this man is me, how hard is that to tell?
    ‘Cause i’ve tried to comfort you, and you only care about yourself

    chorus
    Afraid, in a daze, I’m paniced-panicked, curled up on the floor
    I’ll drink one down to calm my nerves, ‘cause I can’t take it anymore
    I’ve been down, but now, it feels like I can’t let go
    But I know… I’m the one to blame

    v3
    My heart is spilling out, and you just turn away
    Like you’ll do tomorrow, and like you did yesterday
    It never changes, these places are only a temporary escape
    ‘Cause your “I love you’s” are more than I can take
    And if actions breed words, yours would write a book
    I’d be the author so you could see how much it took
    Out of my heart every night to believe that you cared
    Just to look around and see that you’re never there

    chorus
    Afraid, in a daze, I’m panicedpanicked, and I feel like a whore
    I’ll drink one down to calm my nerves, ‘cause I can’t take it anymore
    Keep me down, let me go, before it’s too late for me, my love
    Just give up….walk away from me


    ------------------------

    I really love this though and there wasnt much I would consider changeing :P
    I bashed it that best I could though :D

    one of my favorite parts-

    Everything feels like a lie when you don’t really know
    Why every time you gain control, you’re forced to let go
    Hollow, he’s a disfigured shell of a troubled soul
    ‘Cause the last thing that was his, somebody stole


    Anways, great job love.

    -Shadow Doll (safire)
    | Posted on 2008-04-08 00:00:00 | by girly101 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    159921

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

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