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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Boquet Of Flowersdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Fearless
    ASL Info:    16fPhillippines
    Elite Ratio:    6.48 - 85/63/19
    Words: 243
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 563
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1452



    Description:
       I was listening to the song by Joshua Radin called Star Mile and it just really inspired me to write something I've been wanting to express for a while.

    Choosing to let go of something you once loved is one of the hardest things to do. But I think it's necessary to if it's holding you back from something far greater than what you think is the best things that has ever happened to you.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBoquet Of Flowersdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Her fingers struggles to push the buttons that would liberate her
    from a bouquet of tainted flowers.

    As she takes a moment to ponder on its splendor
    She remembers the way, well….the way it made her feel somber.

    Initially, it brought life to her tedious existence
    She can’t help but to think how these particular flowers made her feel.
    It seemed as if nothing else in this world seemed as real
    As the flowers which are now wilting its way to the ground.

    All the happiness she ever felt won’t reform to dust
    For maybe, the only way to save these flowers
    Were to put it back to where it belonged.

    You see, she tried to save it, but the more she does
    The more it wanted to change back to the way it was.

    She kept it safe, watered it at nightfall
    Sang to them underneath the spying stars.

    Her tears became one with the rain
    when she failed to hide the pain
    after the flowers eventually, started to die.

    So we are faced with the same predicament once more.
    Is she to push the button that will liberate her
    From what once was a beautiful bouquet of flowers?

    All the gold in this world, will never replace
    The way those flowers brought a smile to her face.
    What keeps her going?
    Knowing that soon, spring is coming!




    Submitted on 2008-04-06 17:15:12     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      You can tell this is a heartfelt piece; a huge metaphor for the act of letting go. The bouquet is wilted and dying; it's best to let it go.

    It will either crumble in the palms of your hands or on the ground. Next time though, you might want to think about using an object, person or place (if you want to do another metaphor) that has more than one thing in common with the thing you are REALLY talking about.

    With the flower, it's just wilting. I guess if it was a metaphor of a failing relationship - then that's one thing they have in common. They're both dying. But what about the other aspects of the relationship or the rose?

    Was the guy always rosy? Did he have rosy cheeks? Was your feelings thorny or something? Cuz you know some flowers prick you.

    Anyway you get the picture. Just something to keep in mind for the future.

    The lines
    "She kept it safe, watered it at nightfall
    Sang to them underneath the spying stars."

    kind of reminds me of "Hushed." It has that very comforting, silent love in the night feel to it.

    One thing that was contradictory in your poem was, in your description you say how you want to let go of something, but at the end of the poem, it seems to me that you are just letting it die for now because LATER (in springtime) there will be another love, another relationship, another fling, another whatever. It doesn't sound like you're letting go, if you know what I mean.

    Maybe that's not even what you meant though so if that's the case, then it's ok.

    Your writing is definitely getting better.

    Suven

    Suven
    | Posted on 2008-04-07 00:00:00 | by Suven7 | [ Reply to This ]


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