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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Untitleddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: black_beauty18
    ASL Info:    25/Female/Hutchinson, KS
    Elite Ratio:    4.04 - 153/146/46
    Words: 58
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 601
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 385



    Description:
       An unfinished work about the pain of finding out someone you love has been loving someone else... It needs a lot of work, so any suggestions you guys have would be appreciated!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsUntitleddots
    -------------------------------------------


    My heart stands alone, no longer by yours,
    Your heart found comfort with another.
    These eyes infinitely bring sorrowful tears forth,
    Empty arms lacking my sated lover.

    Nights creep by with no warm embrace,
    Lips have no ears to whisper words of love to.
    No longer yours, another took my place,
    Merciless pain is life without you.




    Submitted on 2008-04-07 14:45:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I like minimalistic pieces that can convey a story or emotion without going on and on - this is something that is devastating and you manage to convey your pain and sorrow. The first line of the 2nd stanza doesn't ring well with the other lines for some reason for me but that may just be personal.
    Great!
    love,peace,joy,abundance & smiles to share
    tif
    | Posted on 2008-04-08 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]


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