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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: lighter shade of bluedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ladiesplanet1
    ASL Info:    23.cali baby
    Elite Ratio:    3.58 - 720/463/165
    Words: 131
    Class/Type: Poetry/I am dead inside
    Total Views: 609
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 866



    Description:
       this piece i wrote on the ground with a sharpie in the parking garage and i really hope no one takes it but whatever. i did get some props from some tagers up there. cool. but i hope yall like it. theres so much in here that most of you will never understand but it means so much


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotslighter shade of bluedots
    -------------------------------------------


    and she cries
    forever longing for the past
    a feeling she knows just wont last
    its so unreal
    the way she feels
    when will she heal
    her broken spinning wheel
    wont heal her any longer
    she feels her heart just getting stronger
    and shes showing off her death wish
    to the public
    and she knows they barely notice
    all the pain she hides
    behind her broken smile
    all the while
    she just struggles to survive
    this haunted lifetime
    bleeding traumatizing nightmares
    making her scream out in her sleep
    followed by insomniatic weeping
    and no one hears her cries
    or sees her when she tries
    to make things right
    shes so invisible to you
    and no one has a clue
    of what to do
    or make a light shade of blue




    Submitted on 2008-04-07 17:51:41     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I like this one i actually kinda feel this way, i just feels, and i like it
    | Posted on 2008-10-17 00:00:00 | by Strawberryjynx | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



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    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
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    January 10 07
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