Tempting... but no by MC white

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Submission Name: Tempting... but no dots

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Author:	MC white
ASL Info:	20/Male/Ohio
Elite Ratio:	3.26 - 71/73/45
Words:	124

Class/Type:	Misc/Misc
Total Views:	622
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	760

Description:
Tonight.

Tempting... but no dots

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Her smoke filled my car as her story unfolded
she'd just broken up with her him.
I liked her and all, don't get me wrong
But I viewed her as mostly a friend.

I wanted coffee, she wanted beer
we drove to a bar that she knew.
We talked about him, we talked about mine
Air thick from the smoke that we blew.

The hours wore on, I lost the dart game
we laughed with the fools at the bar.
Her eyes kept constantly searching my face
We left cuz her home wasn't far.

We pulled up, I shifted from drive to reverse
something she did not overlook.
Snatching her purse, see you tomorrow
I'm sorry, my hearts just been took.

Submitted on 2008-04-08 00:43:18 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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||| Comments |||
I really like the honesty and straight-forward wording in your poetry, makes me really feel like I am a part of the scene you create. I love the very small and ver important details you include, and the small analogies, like the shift of the gears of the car. Good work, I really enjoyed the read.
| Posted on 2008-04-08 00:00:00 | by brokenmuse | [ Reply to This ]

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Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3 It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
It means a lot to them, as it does to you.