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    dots Submission Name: Tempting... but nodots

    Author: MC white
    ASL Info:    20/Male/Ohio
    Elite Ratio:    3.26 - 71/73/45
    Words: 124
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 673
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 760


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    dotsTempting... but nodots

    Her smoke filled my car as her story unfolded
    she'd just broken up with her him.
    I liked her and all, don't get me wrong
    But I viewed her as mostly a friend.

    I wanted coffee, she wanted beer
    we drove to a bar that she knew.
    We talked about him, we talked about mine
    Air thick from the smoke that we blew.

    The hours wore on, I lost the dart game
    we laughed with the fools at the bar.
    Her eyes kept constantly searching my face
    We left cuz her home wasn't far.

    We pulled up, I shifted from drive to reverse
    something she did not overlook.
    Snatching her purse, see you tomorrow
    I'm sorry, my hearts just been took.

    Submitted on 2008-04-08 00:43:18     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    1: >_<
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I really like the honesty and straight-forward wording in your poetry, makes me really feel like I am a part of the scene you create. I love the very small and ver important details you include, and the small analogies, like the shift of the gears of the car. Good work, I really enjoyed the read.
    | Posted on 2008-04-08 00:00:00 | by brokenmuse | [ Reply to This ]

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