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Roleplay | Viral news today | Music Theory

Unhinged


Author: rainbowXrazors
ASL Info:    16-Female-In my head..
Elite Ratio:    6.18 - 414 /236 /81
Words: 191
Class/Type: Misc /Angry
Total Views: 1257
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1254



Description:

Just something I cooked up lyrically and emotionally ten minutes ago.

Nothing big..nothing good..just something I needed to get out. It may be a little blunt and angry..but that kind of stuff happens.

I never got to an ending, so if you have any suggestions, feel free..to suggest.


Unhinged


I've gone mad
I can still hear it today

"I'm sorry I washed
your dreams away
It didnt mean anything
not to me anyway

I want you back
more than I can ever say
please baby..please
just meet me halfway"

Fuck that
Fuck you
and fuck her too
oh wait you already did
like a kid you hid
within the walls of that cunt

"It was just sex
not like you and me
when time broke free
six hours of a love
I could never get sick of
I could never get rid of.

She meant nil
just a thrill
to fill
just a slut
with a strut
that made me bust a nut

not like you
and our-"

Shut the fuck up!
Yeah,
she spread her legs like a dog in heat
a runaway that you found on the street
she's a bitch
cheap trick for this dick
But you
like a baby sucking off of my tit
fuck you
theres nothing you can say
to change what you did that day
spineless shit, get away

you'll never get me back




Submitted on 2008-04-08 15:22:53     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  wow this sounds like a pantera song!!!! it rhymes and rides just like a pantera song, very well done! you have some very graphic details here and a lot of rage and disgust, which usually makes for a good song anyway! no ending is needed, you already have it there.....don't change a thing!!! maybe say the parts.... "not like you and our-" and "you'll never get me back" ... say it like a grizzly bear would, it will give the song definition and endings are very memorable, when they don't just fade out....plus if you're actually singing the rest, it will be a good contrast, like the song "hellbound" by pantera. rawr!!!!!
| Posted on 2008-04-09 00:00:00 | by scissorhands | [ Reply to This ]
  Well, for the most part it flows. Personally, I think, it is catchy...very rhythmy(sp). I like it. It makes my blood rush, and thats awesome because I am guessing that your blood was rushing when you wrote this too.

I could never get sick of
I could never get rid of

I like that part... but it needs somin more ... UMPH ish... you know? The rest of it just screams, but I don't know... that part seems a bit stiff.
| Posted on 2008-04-08 00:00:00 | by SweetAndOhSoME | [ Reply to This ]


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