[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: She Is...dots

    Author: AeThe Lost Poet
    ASL Info:    19/M/DE
    Elite Ratio:    3.6 - 147/184/122
    Words: 77
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 946
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 573


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsShe Is...dots

    Red Amongst,
    the Black and White,
    vibrant to those,
    who lack the life,
    energy an passion,
    she holds within her heart,
    injects in me,
    into those inward parts,
    that affect me, directly,
    hence she is my weakness,
    Pretense fails,
    correctly forming a pale bleakness,
    Is it really okay?
    that I failed to see this?
    No foreshadowing,
    to tell I'd be sleepless,
    Speechless I know,
    No matter what was said,
    I can never change her color,
    She Is...

    Submitted on 2008-04-09 11:23:41     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This was another well written poem. Detailed, flowing, and deep. Magnificent! I can relate to this closely. Keep up the great work, and I'll keep reading.

    | Posted on 2008-11-12 00:00:00 | by MinervaBlu | [ Reply to This ]
      This is very complicated - the beginning is like love and admiration - the second half is like sorrow and feeling left out - I know this happens and it represents, well, the more frequent conflict of emotions.
    Well done!
    love,peace,joy,abundance & smiles to share
    | Posted on 2008-04-09 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      Damn, very well done. I like your style. I really don't comment often on people's stuff because most of it sucks, but i like the meter and the rhyme scheme to this one. The subject matter really fits the flow and i like how you spoke of changing her color and not her, as if her color was a separate entity while still suggesting it was connected her. Job well done!

    | Posted on 2008-04-09 00:00:00 | by robertbwell | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]