Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: decieving strengthdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: annie smith
    ASL Info:    20/f
    Elite Ratio:    5.26 - 75/61/24
    Words: 265
    Class/Type: Poetry/Betrayal
    Total Views: 644
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1674



    Description:
       ex boyfriends.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsdecieving strengthdots
    -------------------------------------------


    i have no need for any one.
    esspecially you.

    i am strong.
    on one can break me down.

    i threw away your obcessing love.
    but kept your loving friendship.

    a good strong friendship was what we had.
    not minding what was in the past.

    i told you i was upset.
    i cried in your arms.

    you told me it was ok.
    you told me not to worry.

    then you kissed me pasionitly.
    a kiss made for lovers.

    i tried to move.
    you growled at me.

    you kissed me harder.
    i cried harder.

    the tears flowed.
    you bit my neck.

    i push you off me.
    i fall to the floor.

    you left me huddeled in a corner.
    tears flowing down my face.

    my fault, my fault, my fault
    the words ring throu my mind

    im sorry i sob.
    you carress my lips.

    you lay me down on the cold hard floor.
    you kiss my throat.

    your eyes show lust.
    mine hold teary pain.

    you lean over me.
    with one last, never ending kiss, you leave.

    hoarsly telling me its my fault it happened.
    my fault, my fault, my fault.

    what am i to you?
    a game? a toy?

    the deception, the pain.
    why did you do it?

    i thought i could trust you.
    my best friend.

    but it was my fault.
    you told me so.

    i thought i was strong.
    i thought no one could break me down.

    ...then there was you.




    Submitted on 2008-04-09 15:29:25     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      1st off,im sure writing this piece helped u vent and figure this situation out if its true.its main strength poetically is the emotion behind it,yet im not really feeling the structure of the 2-line verses.what i reconized immediatly was the strength and pride this put forth in the begining,but it disappeared rather quickly...and by the way,dont let yourself take any blame here @ all...no way...keep up the pen game tho!....crazy
    | Posted on 2008-04-10 00:00:00 | by crazyphreshone | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    160039

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    This written by Chelebel
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Incubus written by monad
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    The Promise written by annie0888
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    Push written by JanePlane
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    Giving written by jjd
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry