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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Death Deeddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: BeautifulSoul
    ASL Info:    17/F/In
    Elite Ratio:    6.61 - 90/79/38
    Words: 101
    Class/Type: Poetry/Gothic
    Total Views: 938
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 609



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDeath Deeddots
    -------------------------------------------


    In the dead of the night is when I shall roam,
    wondering what in the darkness I will be shown.
    Wondering into a cathedral under it's cross bearn dome,
    wondering how I have become eternity's to own.
    My skin a pallor so bright,
    it shines in the darkness of the night.
    Remembering back to my last earthly breath,
    when my love became my death.
    He came to me with that one sweet kiss,
    and said with his lips he would take away everything I miss.
    Greedily in love I had agreed,
    never knowing death was part of the deed.




    Submitted on 2008-04-10 13:26:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I have to disagree with SweetAndOhSoME the line agrees. Tell me if I am wrong but you were trying to convey that he promised to take all your pain away that you were feeling and place it with nothing but happiness and love but in the end it left you dead something that was not part of the promise. I like the conveying of a vampire poem it is nice and dark. It shows really well. I have to say that this is one of your best poems. The mood of not hating or loving but indifferent was a good choice for this poem. I look forward to reading more of your poems
    | Posted on 2008-10-16 00:00:00 | by DemonofHeaven | [ Reply to This ]
      and said with his lips he would take away everything I miss.

    ...

    I honestly don't know what to say about that line other than it just doesn't seem to agree with everything else.

    However, this is an enticing poem--which i believe was what it is trying to convey. The enticement of a vampire's kiss?

    Maybe...maybe not. Either way, great work!
    | Posted on 2008-05-01 00:00:00 | by SweetAndOhSoME | [ Reply to This ]


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