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    dots Submission Name: dancing in ones own fleshdots

    Author: brokenmuse
    ASL Info:    26/F/AL
    Elite Ratio:    3.29 - 756/734/161
    Words: 46
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 737
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 339


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    dotsdancing in ones own fleshdots

    oceans moaning
    the muffled sounds of
    their waves casting back
    the earths quiet pulse
    sitting here
    under the stars
    the quiet hand
    of god upon one shoulder
    breathing deep
    of the fresh sweet air
    in the starlight
    even this flawed flesh
    seems a thing of beauty

    Submitted on 2008-04-11 08:02:18     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      The last two lines are my favorite, the imagery is beeautiful and it's short and concise, i like a short poem. In my mind poetry is summiong up ones thoughts in the least amount of words possibly, still giving a full picture and you've done well. Nice write. :)
    | Posted on 2008-04-24 00:00:00 | by Voodoo_Lounge | [ Reply to This ]
      This may be short, but it is so wonderful! It flows like pellucid water in a mountain stream! Lovely soft internal rhyme... just an excellent write.... loved it... bravo... bravo .... michael
    | Posted on 2008-04-13 00:00:00 | by Algol46 | [ Reply to This ]

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