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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Helix- c. by ruejacobs 4/13/08 12:30 amdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ruejacobs
    ASL Info:    37/feminazi/Gehenna
    Elite Ratio:    4.86 - 592/458/162
    Words: 158
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 255
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 977



    Description:
       dna is a parasite.
    so is love.
    they are that close to heaven
    as they are to hell.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHelix- c. by ruejacobs 4/13/08 12:30 amdots
    -------------------------------------------


    No spell can take my soul
    There’s a price, there’s always that

    I’ve got penance to spare
    But so have you.
    You might say the market is saturated in it these days.
    You might fly at me

    I’ve known that demon inside you all these years
    Haven’t I tended his wounds
    Haven’t I nurtured and fed him all along

    A serpent can’t help being a serpent

    We are all born to strike
    In one way or another

    You held my hand in your palm
    I traced the veins that coiled to your heart
    You have been my labyrinth

    It is, beloved, only flesh and bone
    I care nothing for it now

    I want the monster beneath
    As much as the seraph
    Those wounds I healed were mine as well

    Beneath the flesh my wings unfurl
    Against skin stretched taut
    You could make it out

    But only with a dagger




    Submitted on 2008-04-13 00:32:39     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Mom,
    A little dramatic, my dear. (lol).

    I love it, The demon within, And the wings imagery, sort of reminds me of these pictures Gary had of Dad's artwork.

    I loved the stanza breaks. (lol).

    Ask Danny About The CDs, Pwease?

    ~Carrie
    | Posted on 2008-04-17 00:00:00 | by dismal_s child | [ Reply to This ]
      brilliant!
    loving the changes!
    totally stellar
    thanx for taking me up on my need
    | Posted on 2008-04-14 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      i NEED stanzas in this piece.
    i need stand alone lines.

    a serpent can't help being a serpent needs its whole own line! it is brilliant and right now i dont think it is getting any spotlight or attention or anything...

    the different connotations in that line are outstanding... its almost like youre excusing the serpent in the garden of eden... cutting him some slack coz he cant help being what he was made to be etc.


    the complexity of relationships and interactions and hearts... sometimes its enough to drive me to the mountains to be a hermit or a monk or something far removed from the rest of existance.

    and yet then there are also the moments where these complexities are the most beautiful moments a person can experience and i would not miss them for anything

    think about line/stanza breaks some more
    i think youre onto a good thing here
    the breaks would bring more emphasis and pause for thoughtness.
    | Posted on 2008-04-13 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]


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