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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Burials for Cut Flowersdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: saartha
    ASL Info:    27/F/US
    Elite Ratio:    4.06 - 230/384/131
    Words: 99
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 1205
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 688



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBurials for Cut Flowersdots
    -------------------------------------------


    There is no space in the world
    for sympathetic girls. We, who cry
    at strangers’ weddings, for the beaten dogs
    on television, for all the squished ants
    and wilted daisy-chains. We, who spend
    sleepless nights agonizing over the fate
    of those poor starving Africans.

    Society closes its doors, tells its children
    to finish their math homework and balance
    their checkbooks and growupmarrywellhave
    2.3 squalling babies of their own

    tells us to grow up period, to stop using words
    like ‘agonize’ and ‘melancholy’ and
    ‘I am green and leafy, turn me over
    turn me over, turn me over.’




    Submitted on 2008-04-13 02:35:37     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I didn't like the reference to the "poor starving Africans"

    because in a poem like this there's the danger of slipping into the predictable. You've done a fine job of not getting bogged down with that and so why not continue? Still, considering the brilliance of the title I have to say that the interior left me feeling not much of anything at all and for me that's because you got bogged down in "society tells us"

    For me this lacks feeling and an epiphany so that it reads like the lead in to a debate not yet fought or formulated. If society tells us these things, so what?

    as an avenue of thought: callously, tenaciously and selfishly cling to those sympathies? be the equal of better of that biyach that tries to shake them from you.?

    DB
    | Posted on 2009-03-15 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]
      Alright.

    I read this a long time ago, and it's stuck with me. I was driving from Seattle to bat[censored] nowhere Sunday, and Mr. Waits was crooning through the snow:

    I love when it showers
    But no one puts flowers
    On a flower's grave


    ... and I thought of this again.

    Cut flowers--methods of remembrance, honoring, mourning, respect... A life spent in offering to another.




    This is a nice elegy. A nice ode to these girls. These boys.
    Mourning those that mourn.





    I had a few other things to say, but I can't recall them now.

    This is still lovely.








    Someday the silver moon and I will go to dreamland
    I will close my eyes and wake up there in dreamland
    And Tell me who will put flowers on a flower's grave?
    Who will say a prayer?
    | Posted on 2009-01-06 00:00:00 | by trouble | [ Reply to This ]
      y'know, i'm one of those cheese-mushes that does exactly that. sniffles and stuff. empathy is a lost art for many people, those ones who only care about themselves and how much they're earning and what they're gonna do over in some tax-haven island doing god knows what. it's embarrassing when some scene in a movie makes me gushy. i really hate it. and i turn away and pretend i'm yawning or something just in case a friend catches me out. but then i think, "why should i feel this way?" maybe because society says males shouldn't do this. ever.

    i appreciate the cynicism in this, in the observations you have about this world. it's a push-pull thing, i think, this dynamic between cynicism and idealism.

    "2.3 squalling babies of their own(.)

    Tell us to grow up period(.) To stop using words"


    i'm wondering if this reads out better to you? placing two periods where i've mentioned, i mean. the second one emphasises the word "period", don't you think? or is that too much? just a thought i figured i'd throw out anyway.

    anyway, i don't really need to go on, do i?
    | Posted on 2008-12-25 00:00:00 | by meoww | [ Reply to This ]
      reading this,
    i am suddenly urged to write in support of sympathetic girls everywhere. not just because i am proud to have one of my own, but because this world is in short supply of them.

    unfortunately, the tragedy is that
    many of them do grow up.
    grow up and get wrapped up in their
    own world of priorities. i don't wish to judge
    them too much, because when you are
    surrounded by puking kids
    and mortgaged up to the hilt,
    it is difficult to look past the end of the street
    let alone over the horizon.

    but ,

    thank goodness for those sympathetic girls.
    especially the ones that
    have the determination
    make a difference on this planet
    when they do grow up.
    clearly,
    you are making a difference right now.

    J
    | Posted on 2008-06-28 00:00:00 | by Alter idem | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm listening to Damien Rice, hoping tomorrow will be 0okay, reading this. And something makes me nod and almost want to cry, and... I don't really know.

    Like... I want to high five you and say, "Screw that, let's go rescue some orphans together, and blow our noses and hug. It doesn't matter what those snobby old men think. It's okay if we're sympathetic. Because that means at least we feel, and... Maybe then we're not just metal inside and out."

    And your last strophe hits it beyond any visible blazes. Beyond the sun, beyond the ocean...
    I am green and leafy...

    (the ending echoes something like a mania. a little kid turning a leaf, a petal over and over in their hand, absorbed in it beyond all else.)

    Hm...
    .sigh.

    ~
    | Posted on 2008-06-25 00:00:00 | by etheror | [ Reply to This ]
      If only we could all save the word, saartha.

    Damn, now I want daisy chains. Saartha, you have awoken my inner hippy.

    I WANT BELLBOTTOMS.

    Bellbottoms are kickass. I saw an old photo of my dad in bellbottoms. He looks tres cool.

    And saartha, there is room for sympathetic girls. Hey, if there is room for me, a sympathetic guy, then surely there is room for you.

    *Huggles saartha* I shall turn you over.

    ~AsiaticFox
    | Posted on 2008-05-08 00:00:00 | by AsiaticFox | [ Reply to This ]
      Bull[censored].

    Hogwash.

    Poppycock,

    and so forth.

    The same people who pulverize words like "melancholy" and "anguish" out of existence are the same fools who push art into the past.

    I am loathe to hear how pathetic the general vocabulary is. This makes me think of all the [censored] retards I've ever known who think I speak "like a faggot" or accuse me of being pretentious.

    (Though in truth they lack the eloquence to say pretentious - not that they even know the word).

    I am loathe that I sound like an elitist [censored] because I'm not stupid. I hate that because I pronounce things correctly and enunciate appropriately I am "weird".

    ------

    Back to the matter at hand, my apologies.

    I dislike people being battered to care only for their immediate future and family it's like the farm to factory. Nations of parrots simply bred to produce X yield for Y time and be thrown out as Z demands.

    Such a foul taste, indeed.

    Though I'll say that any person who can feel empathy in such a genuine way as this piece mentioned is quite intriguing to me.
    | Posted on 2008-04-17 00:00:00 | by Fizzlethorpe | [ Reply to This ]
      there is no place in the world for sympathetic girls...

    half of me disagrees with this statement in that the place for them is being the conscience that most of society lacks. if we didnt have such girls then society would look completely unsympathetic and selfish. one must have a token sympathetic girl to make them look better so even if they personally dont give a damn about the number of unwanted animals at the SPCA they can fell safe in the knowledge that this girl they know wants to buy all the animals and look after them [even though shes currently living in a house that doesnt allow pets...]

    i enjoyed this piece.
    the way it stabs at all the norms.
    the way it makes sympathetic girls sound like they dont know what theyre on about "oh shes just a child... wait til shes got kids and a husband and house to look after... she wont be so sympathetic then..."

    | Posted on 2008-04-14 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      I loved this one, too. In fact, I think I'll put it on my favorites.

    I won't waste your time with gushing complimments; just know that I loved nearly everything about it.

    I have two nitpicks, though:

    1)"their checkbooks and growupmarrywellhave"

    Since the rest of that stanza refers to the children as "they," I think that last word should read "growupmarrytheyllhave" or "growupmarryyoullhave"

    2) "tells us to grow up period"
    I feel like that line would flow better without the word "period."

    Otherwise I loved this. Kudos.

    Keep writing
    ~Venia
    | Posted on 2008-04-13 00:00:00 | by Venia | [ Reply to This ]


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    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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