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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: We are...dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ollie_wicked
    ASL Info:    27?FEarth
    Elite Ratio:    4.02 - 320/200/90
    Words: 104
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 674
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 660



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWe are...dots
    -------------------------------------------


    We are the wake of a beautiful morning.
    We are the yellows and pinks that create a harmony.
    We are Everything, and yet we are young.
    We are What keeps this girl going.
    We are the greatest story
    We are the punch line and the moral.
    We are small and feminine.
    We are smiling faces and laughter.
    We are the thoughts that won't stop.
    We are memories of long past revived anew.
    We are the fallen angels of resistance.
    We are tolerance and acceptance who hold hands.

    We will lie in beautiful mornings of memories of pinks and yellows, forever smiling, forever laughing.




    Submitted on 2008-04-13 20:42:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I like it.
    | Posted on 2008-04-18 00:00:00 | by EEKS | [ Reply to This ]
      I really like the imagery in this, it's vivid and very beautiful, however, the construction of the last line seems a little sloppy to me.

    "We will lie forever in beautiful mornings,
    in memories
    of pinks and yellows,
    smiling, laughing faces."

    I feel it would flow a little better because you have these long lines in the body and then the end should gradually become smaller.

    None the less, this brought a smile to my face just imagining the scene.

    | Posted on 2008-04-13 00:00:00 | by AlmostEloquent | [ Reply to This ]


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    160166

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