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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Cast-offs of Pleasuredots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Vampiric Death
    Elite Ratio:    2.27 - 133/159/91
    Words: 92
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 706
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 627



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCast-offs of Pleasuredots
    -------------------------------------------


    It's no big deal,
    everyone knows
    it's part of growing up,
    your maturity shows.

    Now everyone is wrong
    and you feel it inside,
    the baby is growing
    and you regret your ride.

    What do you do?
    cast this miracle aside?
    Are you a monster,
    in hell do you abide?

    This beautiful thing,
    a baby is in you
    and it is alive.
    What will you do?

    How can you think
    there's a choice to make?
    is murder an option,
    is that the path you will take?






    Submitted on 2008-04-13 23:43:21     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I think you would have a stronger piece without the traditional ABAB rhyme scheme as it doesn't really do your piece justice. It made the rhyme seem a little forced at times and made it a litle harder to read. STrong subject matter though and you present a good case.

    Love, life & laughter,
    Jay.
    | Posted on 2008-04-15 00:00:00 | by Flowerinbloom | [ Reply to This ]


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