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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: When It's all donedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: b_v_grant
    ASL Info:    23/M/Jamaica
    Elite Ratio:    3.27 - 125/118/69
    Words: 209
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Serious
    Total Views: 615
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1531



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWhen It's all donedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Verse 1

    I feel like I'm missing,
    I'm feeling so scared,
    If only I'd listen,
    I'd known that they cared.
    Confusion surrounds me,
    Doubt and these fears,
    Its highly unlikely,
    I'll make it pass here.
    Cuz there's this question that I really don't know.

    Chorus

    When it's all done,
    And that day will soon come,
    I know its sounding real dumb,
    But I am not prepared.
    I am pretending,
    That inside isn't empty,
    I'm holding onto memories,
    I never should have kept,
    Never should have kept.

    Verse 2

    I wont be afraid,
    Of taking my last step,
    I take without shame.
    I'm strong on the surface,
    It's hard to get through,
    I never was perfect,
    Not even for you
    Cuz there's this question that I really don't know.

    Chorus

    Forget me,
    All this hurt inside I've learn to handle well.

    Deceiving,
    All this time I thought you could save me from myself.

    I don't know who I am....

    Chorus

    Forget me,
    All this hurt inside I've learn to handle well.

    Deceiving,
    All this time I thought you could save me from myself.

    I don't know who I am....
    I don't know who I am.





    Submitted on 2008-04-14 15:03:44     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I prefer if you use "I'm" instead of "I am" reads better I think, the guy below is right the chorus doesn't have that heavy feel as the verse before it maybe reworked a lttle. Anyhoo its nice to see you posting your black book no run out of pages yet lol. Go on chile do the damn thing then.

    Keep it cute,
    Jay.
    | Posted on 2008-04-15 00:00:00 | by Flowerinbloom | [ Reply to This ]
      This was a pretty good piece but i had two complaints. One was the chorus was almost cheesy, and the second verse did not match the same rhyme scheme as the first. Otherwise, the first verse was pretty good, and the third verse/bridge was very good. Overall, pretty good.
    | Posted on 2008-04-14 00:00:00 | by hybridsongwrite | [ Reply to This ]


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