[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: When It's all donedots

    Author: b_v_grant
    ASL Info:    23/M/Jamaica
    Elite Ratio:    3.27 - 125/118/69
    Words: 209
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Serious
    Total Views: 633
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1531


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWhen It's all donedots

    Verse 1

    I feel like I'm missing,
    I'm feeling so scared,
    If only I'd listen,
    I'd known that they cared.
    Confusion surrounds me,
    Doubt and these fears,
    Its highly unlikely,
    I'll make it pass here.
    Cuz there's this question that I really don't know.


    When it's all done,
    And that day will soon come,
    I know its sounding real dumb,
    But I am not prepared.
    I am pretending,
    That inside isn't empty,
    I'm holding onto memories,
    I never should have kept,
    Never should have kept.

    Verse 2

    I wont be afraid,
    Of taking my last step,
    I take without shame.
    I'm strong on the surface,
    It's hard to get through,
    I never was perfect,
    Not even for you
    Cuz there's this question that I really don't know.


    Forget me,
    All this hurt inside I've learn to handle well.

    All this time I thought you could save me from myself.

    I don't know who I am....


    Forget me,
    All this hurt inside I've learn to handle well.

    All this time I thought you could save me from myself.

    I don't know who I am....
    I don't know who I am.

    Submitted on 2008-04-14 15:03:44     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I prefer if you use "I'm" instead of "I am" reads better I think, the guy below is right the chorus doesn't have that heavy feel as the verse before it maybe reworked a lttle. Anyhoo its nice to see you posting your black book no run out of pages yet lol. Go on chile do the damn thing then.

    Keep it cute,
    | Posted on 2008-04-15 00:00:00 | by Flowerinbloom | [ Reply to This ]
      This was a pretty good piece but i had two complaints. One was the chorus was almost cheesy, and the second verse did not match the same rhyme scheme as the first. Otherwise, the first verse was pretty good, and the third verse/bridge was very good. Overall, pretty good.
    | Posted on 2008-04-14 00:00:00 | by hybridsongwrite | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    This written by Chelebel
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Linger written by saartha
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Wavelength written by saartha
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Bond written by saartha
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]