Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: the lavender of alwaysdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: blackbird
    ASL Info:    31/male/reykjavik iceland
    Elite Ratio:    2.35 - 194/328/300
    Words: 155
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 484
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1149



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsthe lavender of alwaysdots
    -------------------------------------------


    in the deadly hollow
    of the world
    i've found space between
    the remembered things.
    a place where you alone
    have come & gone
    in memories
    more terrible than air.

    could i ask a feather
    to breathe a storm more perfectly
    than the sadness
    of my heart's companion?
    or is each day
    merely another step
    towards distant mild oblivion?

    i recall
    slipping through the sheets
    like august fingers
    over warm wind.
    how, inside me,
    tiny holocausts
    were the prophecy
    that i became.

    & you,
    so mixed with the lavender of always,
    would fall into the night
    like the pink that you are
    with all those fiery hells
    inside you
    where you hide them.

    to have to feel pain
    to feel anything
    is working backwards.
    when will adoration open flowers
    into your secret brain?
    when will memory
    be more perfect than air?

    every broken beat
    is a war inside the chest...




    Submitted on 2008-04-14 15:22:47     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Your words are hypnotic, Merlo. And the way you rage so gracefully to maneuver through such weights is both admirable and inspiring. It also seems effortless because your writing makes me feel like you let the emotions just flow with this unstoppable need to, you know, be - have form and vulnerability in the convent of words. This, your method, is the perfect device for healing. And it is also Poetry at its raw and argueable most beautiful form.

    It surprises me that not a lot of people comment on your work. I just hope that they have, at least, read them.
    | Posted on 2008-04-14 00:00:00 | by ANGELO | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    160204

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    Carry written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    The World written by jjd
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    untitled written by ShyOne
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    Cover written by saartha
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    Etiquette written by saartha
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Angel Eyes written by poetotoe
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry