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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Splatters of Nowdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lovedeathsdeath
    ASL Info:    20/M/NCUSA
    Elite Ratio:    5.28 - 39/43/33
    Words: 53
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 150
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 375



    Description:
       The black handled knife goes through the back and pushes the flesh of the back through the front of the body. The shirt is torn and blood splatters. This is the image I was trying to create through colors. (For anyone who may stumble across this)


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSplatters of Nowdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I hate you.
    Knife to the back
    Back to the chest
    blood runs red
    or just splatters
    nonetheless red

    that color it is

    red on black back
    and white front.
    shirt in tatters
    and those splatters-
    Well, you should probably clean those up
    Because I never will.
    Neither will she.




    Submitted on 2008-04-15 22:45:21     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      ummm...
    i think youve essentially taken the same few words and repeated them hoping to sound poetic... im not really sure it works.

    i adore the title but it would seem we think completely different things with the idea of splatters of now... i wasnt think blood for a second when i read the title but rather glimpses of reality.

    i think while you know the whole story behind this piece no one else does and therefore its rather hard to... anything.
    you open with i hate you.
    not only does the reader have no idea who "you" is but they also have no idea why "you" is hated.

    i dont know... i think you could bring more to this piece and maybe take out some of the blood/red/back repetitions...
    | Posted on 2008-04-16 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]



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    January 10 07
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