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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: it is still nightdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: was_i_ever_real
    ASL Info:    23 _ f _ tx
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 194/91/52
    Words: 354
    Class/Type: Prose/Nostalgia
    Total Views: 1015
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 2011



    Description:
       i know i posted this yesterday but i had to erase it cause i didn't like the way that it was formatted on the page...and it didn't give me many choices when i went to the edit page, so i just deleted and reposted.

    wrote this in my intro to philosophy class.

    had nothing to do with the subject. i just closed my eyes and wrote.

    what do you think


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsit is still nightdots
    -------------------------------------------


    We sit in the swing and listen to the laughter of when we used to be young. The back and forth movement takes us to the days when we would lay in the grass, the sunlight filtering through the leaves, staining our faces with small patches of brightness. The shade kept the ground cool, and sometimes we'd lay on our stomachs and breathe the damp, earthy smells, because as children, we knew it would make us live forever.

    "Remember that time we found the fountain of youth?" we say now. "Seems like we drank from the fountain of death instead." We laugh our toothless laugh, our hands covering our mouths to hide our pink gums, but we both notice the tears that have suddenly welled in our eyes.

    We sit under that tree and brush each others hair, the long silvery strands reminding us of the unicorns that used to visit. They only appeared in the moonlight, and we'd brush and braid their tails until the moon made her way across the sky and the sun quickly followed.

    "What happened to our old friends?" We ask now. No one visits us anymore.

    The sun slowly sets, and fireflies begin to blink on and off in an almost hypnotic pattern. We stare at them for a while, noticing that they are the only light tonight. We can't see the stars from this place anymore. We used to know each one by name.

    "Didn't they say they'd shine for us forever?" We cry. But we've known all along that forever is only real to the young.

    The swing slows...then finally stops. We close our eyes and hold our breath, hoping to open them and find patches of sunlight dancing on our faces, but when we open them, it is still night.

    We jump off the swing, ("remember when we could jump a hundred feet...yes, yes, we remember") and make our way into the darkness.

    "Come. Come. It's time to sleep at last."




    Submitted on 2008-04-16 22:24:24     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      As I approach antique status I have fond memories of my youth that this piece caused me to recall again. I do want to mention that the unicorns don't forget and if you can manage to remain young at heart your dreams remain sweet and regenerative. I could positively go out and make a mud pie and smell the earthy scents. Thanks this was inspirational.

    Bruce
    | Posted on 2015-10-16 00:00:00 | by monad | [ Reply to This ]
      Heh. This is good. Really good. I like th composition you give and this one line...We close our eyes and hold our breath, hoping to open them and find patches of sunlight dancing on our faces, but when we open them, it is still night. Its deep. I've known old age for a while. I barely turned 22 but life has taken me down that road. Sometimes I forget though. Thank you for reminding me. Keep up th good work.
    | Posted on 2010-10-15 00:00:00 | by Slayer X9000 | [ Reply to This ]
      This was sweet and deeply touching, i felt every word and it was awesome to have connected to these feelings you portray so strongly, this is really powerful and really deep ro me. Even though i am also still young those memories are way distant now and makes me feel old and obsolete in that sense. I loved it and it really got me thinking about how mortal we really are. Thank you for sharing this.
    | Posted on 2009-08-24 00:00:00 | by Clayman | [ Reply to This ]
      Very nice piece.

    I too found myself a bit emotional when I was reading this. You took me to a place where I could actually smell the ground and you made me relive those innocent days. It seems a lifetime ago and I'm only 28!

    There isn't a whole lot that I can really say, other than it gave me a lot to think about.

    Thanks for the read!
    Candi
    | Posted on 2009-08-04 00:00:00 | by dreamweaver | [ Reply to This ]
      Awww...this...I'm somewhat choked up after reading this.

    This is really well done. It touched me. It feels very bittersweet, and it makes me sad.

    Old age is no laughing matter. I'm glad I'm only 19 right now. I am glad to be young. Old age is something I never want to see.

    It's too bad that when people get old, they get kind of cast to the side and forgotten. It seems even the unicrons have forgotten. I feel a broken heart coming on. What ever happened to respect and love and friendship with our elders? *Sigh*

    Thanks for tugging on my heartstrings. Its been awhile since I've been reminded of how fragile I really am. Like glass.

    Shattered.

    ~AsiaticFox
    | Posted on 2008-04-17 00:00:00 | by AsiaticFox | [ Reply to This ]


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