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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: About Medots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Maki
    ASL Info:    17/ female/ home
    Elite Ratio:    5.04 - 208/210/69
    Words: 227
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 747
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1393



    Description:
       To all of you From all of me.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAbout Medots
    -------------------------------------------


    I was told to write a poem,
    To tell you who I am,
    but when I started writing,
    A blank, I was condemned.

    So I gripped my pen tightly
    Began to draw instead,
    and before I even knew it,
    A drawing, I spied ahead.

    There was something peculiar,
    about that stroke today,
    for when I lifted up my pen,
    Something it did say.
    "This is you!" It screamed at me,
    "Don't let them tell you otherwise,"
    I stopped to ponder a moment,
    What could that, to me, advise?

    Finally I found it,
    one sleepless, dreary night,
    Each and every line and word,
    Is something not to contrite.

    So next time someone says to you,
    Your work is nothing to be proud of,
    Remember that no matter what,
    It is something you should love.

    Maybe one night you'll think of how,
    The past was something good.
    Without any of those mistakes
    You never would have understood
    As time goes by and you get better,
    You can think a bit of me,
    and how I once was just like you
    trying too hard to see.

    I was told to write a poem
    to tell a little about me
    but when I finished writing
    It was all about who you can be.




    Submitted on 2008-04-16 23:37:08     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This was cool :)

    very creative, i like the plot (yay it tells a story! )


    and there is rhyme, which, i must admit, i love...

    although, in places, it seems a bit forced..

    for instance:

    "So I gripped my pen tightly
    Began to draw instead,
    and before I even knew it,
    A drawing, I spied ahead."

    i dont know if the rhyme seems forced or if it's just bc of the awkward placing of the comma (i dont think there should be a comma after "A drawing")
    It's also redundant, like you mentioned it was a drawing twice....we already knew this from line 2 :/

    i sort of wonder if you have any trouble with punctuation (?)

    it seems odd in places, even aside from there, but i'm not going to take the time to nitpick every stanza (unless you want me to )


    oh, also, your description...: i likes


    so is this a true story or just something you came up with? nice :)

    -Moz-
    | Posted on 2008-04-17 00:00:00 | by GoKart Mozart | [ Reply to This ]


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    160311

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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