Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Hell Which is My Minddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Vampiric Death
    Elite Ratio:    2.27 - 133/159/91
    Words: 33
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 984
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 182



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Hell Which is My Minddots
    -------------------------------------------


    I hate this place and all that it is,
    vile, repulsive, holding me here.
    I fight to get out, I scream for attention,
    yet I would rather stay because she is near.




    Submitted on 2008-04-18 15:39:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Almost like a chant, it was nice. It was short, but still had a lot of emotion. TheStillSilence may have been a little thrown off, but my favorite line was "I fight to get out, I scream for attention," it's pretty much the story of my life. I would usually tell someone to add more to it, but I think this is good the way it is.

    Nice Write
    ~*~katara~*~
    | Posted on 2008-05-08 00:00:00 | by daughterofdeath | [ Reply to This ]
      no comment.
    | Posted on 2008-04-22 00:00:00 | by cor | [ Reply to This ]
      Short, but good. I def can relate to wat u're saying about screaming in want to get out.

    one thing that sort of threw me off was "I scream for attention".

    I'm not quite sure how getting attention is relating to an escape.

    But i wasn't expecting the end; that was a nice surprise! =]
    | Posted on 2008-04-18 00:00:00 | by TheStillSilence | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    160388

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    The Abyss of Love written by poetotoe
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    untitled written by Outlaw
    The World written by jjd
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    Live In Between written by teika5
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry