Gail please don't leave
with those tears upon your skin
....................I can't breath
As your shadow grows smaller
and swirling dust settles
on dead petals of the dry red roses
I bought you one sunny day
...................when everything was OK
Memories pose like queer manikins
in the windows of ordinary life.
Naked to the eye and sheltered to the soul
unfolded to expose the creases
...................we shared life
And pain distilled by fear until clear
and still we walk in separate directions
like positives and negatives
always in the search for what is
....................and what will never be again.
I enjoyed this poem. It spoke to me very easily. It spoke of your pain, your fear, and your depression. It spoke a lot about the loss you were feeling and about the fear of her leaving. I know how that feels to be almost begging that person you love not to leave, but you see them drifting farther and farther away each day. And all you do is remember the memories of when they were there and soon they will be gone. I liked the fact that you paused every four lines because it added a unique twist to it. It was very original. You seemed to be very good at visualization and you clearly depicted what you were thinking/feeling.
It is a nice poem. Somehow it really sounds sad to me. I kind can relate to it. You have expressed the feelings which almost each of us goes through. A very good piece of art work. Well done
I would like to take this opportunity to thank you for your comments on my poem "what make me love you". I am glad you like it. Yes you are right. Love is the most beautiful feeling in this world, being in love is what makes each of unique.
I've been through all this and it brings me a lot of memories, Very intense emotions, you know how to use your words, Great poem, simple and effective, gets the point across Another beautiful poem, Thanks for sharing this was an awesome poem Ah well, that's love, Stuff happens to us all.
Submission Name: Dried Roses
